This is so good♥️ How long did it take you to finally stop engaging with your negative patterns?? I’ll go for like two weeks and then slip back into them!! Upsetting yourself and your partner feels like the worst thing.
I don’t think any of us “fully” shit out of allll negative patterns 🫶 yes SOME! but when you’re stressed or going through outside stressors (finances, home moves, dealing with children, work stress, etc) it’s so0o0o easy to tap into those negative patterns so first off give yourself grace 💕 we aren’t meant to be perfect. there is always going to be a lil mess in relationships and that’s OK 🩷 i would say a huge piece of shifting out of patterns is actually not getting mad at yourself for being in a negative pattern and just seeing it as neutral.
I will say I do not struggle with anxious attachment at alll anymore and haven’t slid into any of those patterns in years. it took me about 2 years of actively working on overcoming that to come out of that.
and once I stopped depending on my partner for my happiness is when a LOT of these issues shifted that also took around 2 years for me.
the things that still happen when I am stressed are things like getting defensive or questioning the relationship (relationship anxiety). but that really only happens when I feel stressed around other things in life. when i am filling up my own cup and putting myself first none of these patterns get triggered. i hope this was helpful!!
okay honestly at first this article triggered me lmfao but I really enjoy how you laid out the different concepts with tangible examples. radical responsibility + self compassion is THE FREAKING KEY and it's so fascinating to step into it (in an ongoing process hehe) and to SEE the world and everyone's behavior so differently. would love more tangible bits about examples of the actual day to day manifestations of the romantic bits you described, bc I am that person nodding along but I find it harder to map the understanding to my own actual behavior sometimes from things like "lean all the way back". great piece
Yes I know this can be lowkey triggering 😭 but I hope I do a “good job” to help you feel better and make it all make sense!? lol 🫶 ok love hearing this feedback about wanting to hear more examples of the day to day manifestations in romantic love if you choose to lean back and what leaning back looks like? Or were you asking about something else? 💕💕💕💕
sorry adhd comments lol yes after being initially triggered I was like ohhhh but she's so right. and yes, more tangible examples please! about leaning back, about recognizing the types of behavior you mentioned in our own lives
Don’t be sorry! 🫶💕 i love questions because it helps me ideas on what to write more about (: ok this is good! going to send out an article soon on this!
This is so good♥️ How long did it take you to finally stop engaging with your negative patterns?? I’ll go for like two weeks and then slip back into them!! Upsetting yourself and your partner feels like the worst thing.
Thank you Sammi xx
I don’t think any of us “fully” shit out of allll negative patterns 🫶 yes SOME! but when you’re stressed or going through outside stressors (finances, home moves, dealing with children, work stress, etc) it’s so0o0o easy to tap into those negative patterns so first off give yourself grace 💕 we aren’t meant to be perfect. there is always going to be a lil mess in relationships and that’s OK 🩷 i would say a huge piece of shifting out of patterns is actually not getting mad at yourself for being in a negative pattern and just seeing it as neutral.
I will say I do not struggle with anxious attachment at alll anymore and haven’t slid into any of those patterns in years. it took me about 2 years of actively working on overcoming that to come out of that.
and once I stopped depending on my partner for my happiness is when a LOT of these issues shifted that also took around 2 years for me.
the things that still happen when I am stressed are things like getting defensive or questioning the relationship (relationship anxiety). but that really only happens when I feel stressed around other things in life. when i am filling up my own cup and putting myself first none of these patterns get triggered. i hope this was helpful!!
okay honestly at first this article triggered me lmfao but I really enjoy how you laid out the different concepts with tangible examples. radical responsibility + self compassion is THE FREAKING KEY and it's so fascinating to step into it (in an ongoing process hehe) and to SEE the world and everyone's behavior so differently. would love more tangible bits about examples of the actual day to day manifestations of the romantic bits you described, bc I am that person nodding along but I find it harder to map the understanding to my own actual behavior sometimes from things like "lean all the way back". great piece
Yes I know this can be lowkey triggering 😭 but I hope I do a “good job” to help you feel better and make it all make sense!? lol 🫶 ok love hearing this feedback about wanting to hear more examples of the day to day manifestations in romantic love if you choose to lean back and what leaning back looks like? Or were you asking about something else? 💕💕💕💕
sorry adhd comments lol yes after being initially triggered I was like ohhhh but she's so right. and yes, more tangible examples please! about leaning back, about recognizing the types of behavior you mentioned in our own lives
Don’t be sorry! 🫶💕 i love questions because it helps me ideas on what to write more about (: ok this is good! going to send out an article soon on this!