♥︎ Your boyfriend, your man, your fiancé, your husband, your partner…

Is meant to be your hobby ☻︎

Your ideas, your journal, your brand, your book, your artistic passions…⬇️

Is meant to be your soul mate ♥︎✧♥︎✧♥︎✧༛༛༛

All you do is worry about your relationship! You are so hyper fixated on “what he is doing”.

His moods, his actions, how he spoke to you, what he did that day or not, how he behaved when you went out drinking, the tone he texted you back in.

Girl. Give it a fucking break.

But….I know that is easier said than done because in your mind you’re thinking you can’t help it.

The only reason you’re like this is because………….

You’re bored.

Idle hands are indeed the devil’s playground 👹🛝

(I like to say an idle MIND is the devil’s playground).

Think back to a time in life when you were so0o0o0 obsessed with your own life. You were so in-love with what you were doing. Maybe you had the best girlfriends and went out for girly drinks and apps every Friday night then spent Sunday’s deep in ritual. Or maybe there was a time in your life where you were so0o0o obsessed with your mind that you took a month to write a book and you woke up so excited everyday to work on it. Or that time when you finally felt ready to create a social media brand and you got so into it taking professional photos and curating your offers.

If you’re in a relationship….your work is to get back to that ⬆️

And if you’ve never had a time in your life where you felt that way. Well honey bee 🍯✧༛🐝 that’s your work.

Your life is NOT meant to be about your boyfriend!

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All of these teachings are coming from someone who has been in a relationship for nearly 7 years and has lived together with my man the entire time. I view my man as my soul mate. I don’t vision a life where we are not together. I see my man as my best friend, as my soul mate, and as my partner in life. We have a shared group of friends. We do a LOT together as a couple. Our lives are indeed very intertwined. We are verrrryyy involved in each other’s lives.

And….

I have made sure to always have my own room 💖✧✧🍦 I have an affair with my art 🎨♡༛ (meaning, I don’t bring him into my art…he doesn’t know what I am working on and I don’t consult him about it) 💞 I don’t force him to understand my work or my business 🧞‍♀️✧𖦹🫧 I don’t need him to “get it” 👩🏼‍💻♡💞 I have ALWAYS kept my own morning routine and make him wait if we have things to do together (like I journal and write every single morning) 🍰༛🫧 and I always expressed my freak flag in front of him…like doing psychic readings on myself in the beginning of our relationship when we didn’t know each other like that or doing EFT on myself in front of him 🔮✧𖦹💕 when I wrote my book I woke up early at 5am every single morning and committed myself to writing at least 1,000 words every single day and never once told him about it in my 3 months of writing it 🤓🫧✧♡🩷 I did after the fact but I made a promise to me + my inner being to create a sacred connection between me + my art ♾️༛🫧༛🍰 and it was actually through THAT summer where all my teachings birthed and I have been talking about the same concepts since the summer of 2022!

➡️ go deep with your art and boys are for fun! 🤹✧🫧💖✰✰

We got together in 2019 and I was still being my full self but I wasn’t treating my art like my boyfriend yet. I suffered deeply with anxious attachment and insecurity. I genuinely believed I was ugly. I would go through his likes on IG or try to catch him following IG models….I would panic all day if he didn’t text me back in a timely manner. If he went out without me I felt anxious all day and all night. I was always worried he was going to leave me. I never felt good until he validated me.

And I was soooo sick of my own shit. I hated being that way. It felt like ugly behavior and I didn’t want to identify with being ugly anymore. I kept reading relationship self help content. I had a mental health coach. I kept trying to solve my issues with him and sit him down for “chats” where we would loop in conversation for hours. I talked to him like a therapist 🫠 Using that type of language and everything. always letting him know “what’s wrong” blah blah blah.

and looking back, ya bitch was bored as fuck. she had nothing better to do than to bug her boyfriend.

We went to Spain, Italy, and Switzerland in the summer of 2022. I made a promise to myself I just wanted to let myself have fun and let loose (I was still wrapped up in holistic healing, holistic eating, hyper spiritual concepts). But I was SOo00o0o mizzzzz.

Anyways…..we got to Italy and every single meal we ate was the best thing I had ever had in my life. I let myself “go loose” because “we were on vacation” and it was like I enjoyed food for the first time in my entire life (realizing after the fact I was indeed struggling with an eating disorder my whole life with all the rules and restrictions).

And for the first time everrrr I released resistance in my physical body where I actually felt relief for what it felt like the first time….ever? I am not lying when I say this but I cried of happiness over every single meal I ate and every drink I drank.

It was insane happiness and I realized what I had been depriving myself of….

(this is important to understand ⬆️)

BECAUSE I felt relief in my body and felt at ease with myself….

I believe I opened up my channel 🔮༛✧✧🧞‍♀️

In a way that had neverrrrrrr been opened before

(even though I was meditating daily and worked as a Psychic doing readings almost every single day).

And so here I am in Italy feeling at ease with myself (again for the first time ever) and I was just happy as a clam. We were taking a train from one part of Italy to the next and I had a notebook with me. And in an instant my entireeeeee body of work was downloaded to me. I filled up pages upon pages upon pages around everything I write about today.

you’re not insecure, you’re bored.

you’re not jealous, you just have unclaimed desires.

go deep with your art, boys are for fun.

but it was paragraphs and paragraphs just a stream of consciousness flying through me.

Once we got home from Italy that is when I sat down at my laptop and wrote thousands of words every single day and told not ONE soul about it. I had 80k worth of content and I was going to publish it into a book but I used that content to actually make my SUBSTACK HERE ! (I have 2 publications ~ Creative Love + Miracle Zone). It was everything I write about in Creative Love.

Creative Love led me to starting Miracle Zone….

Miracle Zone brought me to UPWARD SPiRAL (my manifestation membership)…..

And these 2 bodies of work (Creative Love + Miracle Zone) became my entire brand’s essence and it’s been the vibe of my work ever since summer of 2022!

Every single piece led into the next creation 🍰༛༛🫧

OHHHHH annnnnnd

after spending the whole summer writing my secret book….it literally HEALED my anxious attachment and I have not resonated with anxious attachment since then. Seriously. Nothing.

My anxious attachment was so bad that when I saw another beautiful woman it would ruin my whole day (I used to self harm). I had the worst anxiety about going to the gym because I knew if I saw a pretty girl it would ruin my whole day.

That’s how bad it was.

So I used all my energy that I used to worry about others and I made myself hot 🌬️💕🪞♡♡༛💖 or rather I spent time getting to know myself and figure out my signature look and figure out what type of baseline I always want to be at. I used all my energy I spent worrying about “my boyfriend” and went deep as fuck with my art instead.

And now I am financially independent from my passions 🌈🫧💕

I have a healthy relationship 👩‍❤️‍👨💖

but most importantly I am FREE in my own mind 🫧

I eat what I want 🍰✧🫧 I drink alcohol without guilt 🥂𖦹 I HAVE FUN with my man 👩‍❤️‍👨💕༛ and I don’t force him to go deep or get my work…and NATURALLY we are deep because I stopped forcing it ♡💖 and yes I am obbbbssssessssed with my work (which is my art) my writing, my digital art, the spaces I hold online.

And I don’t spiral if we do fight. I don’t spiral if something feels off or wrong. I just use it as data. I don’t make meaning from it. I don’t EVER take action with a muddied mind. I find alignment first. I have been devoted to alignment versus making decisions for the past 4 years and only good has come from it.

♥︎♥︎ But as a self aware, intelligent, intuitive, and high achiever woman…..♥︎♥︎

you will naturally worry about your relationship….

you’ll worry about “if he is right for you”

you’ll worry about if the relationship is in “alignment”

you’ll feel really guilty if you get in a fight or he shows a behavior that is “not in alignment” because “aren’t you more evolved than that”….

So maybe you don’t struggle with that anxious attachment type of anxiety anymore but now you worry about the “alignment” of your relationship and sometimes make yourself sick over wondering if he is the one or not or if you’re wasting your time because you’re a high value woman…

And let me tell you right now ~

The ONLY times I felt this way ⬆️ is when I was not currently obsessed with my own life + art. It’s the times when I was more focused on his behavior than my own artistic obsessions. It’s when I was being lazy with my mind and just allowing myself to ruminate over the relationship versus going deep with my own channel 🧞‍♀️✧🔮༛

And the really beautiful part around unplugging your mind from the relationship and plugging your mind into your art and passions is that your relationship will naturally come back into alignment when you stop trying to force the alignment. The sex naturally becomes so deep and he ravishes you…Or you notice the energy shift between the 2 of you where there is an unspoken sweetness that exists…or he just naturally shows up in the ways you had been praying for.

But the minute you “need” him to behave in a certain way is the minute the relationship unravels back into anxiety and disharmony.

you “need” to understand that you don’t “need” shit from him.

you’re a powerful fucking goddess. come on. ☪︎

stop depending on him to make you feel good.

Remove the concept of “needing him to meet your needs” what kind of bullshit is that? You’re giving power to something and someone outside of you? EW! Stop! ☻︎

you need to unplug from your relationship. not in a way where you’re giving up. but in a way where you stop letting your mind obsess over it or you sit him down to have these serious chats.

if you want your relationship to be SEXY and fun and feel good…take my advice.

if you want your relationship to feel like a serious therapy session then carry on with what you’re doing with always trying to get your “needs met”.

Re-spark your relationship

Health of your relationship

Treat ur art like ur bf

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My work is for those who are ready to put on their big girl panties. My work is for those who came here to be an intuitive powerful goddess who values ALIGNMENT with self over making erratic decisions when you feel anxious or off. My work is for those who are overrrrr depending on anyone else to “feel good” (clients, followers, lovers).

What I see most people doing:

★ you get in a fight with your boyfriend when you’re drunk so now you go sober and make him go sober with you.

★ you feel sick after eating gluten so you tell everyone you’re gluten intolerant and never eat a pastry again.

★ you hate your boss then you quit your job.

★ you don’t like the city you move in so you get up and move before everything gets organized.

★ you drank too much over the weekend now being a psycho and doing 75 hard (sorry I have so much beef with 75 hard lmao)

Allllllll of that is coming out of a state of not being regulated!

And look SOMETIMES these actions are going to result in a better life.

but your patterns + shadow self are always going to follow you 👹 🕳️ like a fucking shadow lol ☻︎☻︎☻︎☻︎☻︎☻︎☻︎

You try to find alignment via action.

You’ll never actually feel the best you when you do that.

I teach finding alignment FIRST and then allowing the Universe to guide your path ✧✧

you don’t need to make erratic decisions when you don’t feel good. In fact, it usually backfires.

if alcohol is not meant to be a part of your life anymore you’re going to just naturally stop drinking but you don’t need to announce it like this whole thing where you’re so intense about and its your whole identity. There is a 3rd option where you can just choose not to drink at certain events but also not be married to anything in life…maybe you will want to have a drink again and that’s also going to be ok…

If your man is not meant to be in your life anymore your paths will just naturally separate and you both will come to some mutual decision about it all… you don’t need to sit up in bed all night worried and making yourself sick about it. If he is truly not in alignment for you…it’s going to be agreed upon if you find alignment with yourself first ♥︎

If you really want to lose weight and tone up you don’t need to commit to 75 hard and put yourself through a major fucking cortisol spike (that will probably hold your body fat more than anything….) and you’ll just binge eat after it’s all done….just find alignment with yourself and your body will naturally shed the fat! You’ll be all the sudden inspired to lift heavier or go on a run or make healthier desserts.

I just see most people have this “ALL OR NOTHINGGGGGGGG” mindset which is soooo rooted in this black and way thinking.

I love applying the vegan bacon mindset to my own life and have been living this way for years.

The vegan bacon mindset is “being vegan but still eating bacon” (it was a trend that was talked about on TikTok). It’s to help those who are so intense and don’t let theirselves find a fun 3rd option to life. But what is this shit with an ALLLLL OR NOTHINGGGG mindset like all yall are doing is keeping yourself in these mental prisons.

Life is FOR FUNNNNNNN and FEEEELING GOOOOOOOOD!

Like if you want to stop eating meat but you looooove cheese burgers then stop eating meat but still eat cheese burgers?

If you want to be sober but also want to drink on occasions just drink on special occasions?…

If you want to stop having caffeine but loooove the feeling of getting a latte at the bookshop then just get the latte at the bookshop?

If you want to only be engaged with holistic healing and be all natural but ibuprofen really help you with your cramps…..take the fucking ibprofen 😭

If you want to be a crunchy mom and be crunchy with everything in life BUT you love botox…..lol get the damn botox.

There is always a more fun + easier way to living your life where you aren’t trapped in this mental prisons of restriction and rules and blah blah blah.

and really….I am here for the people who can understand and trust these 3rd FUN options. you get to do what you want in life to make yourself feel better whether that is be sober, be holistic, do intense workouts, quit caffeine but you need to understand the roots behind these actions and also not be so married to anything.

Because what happens is you stop trusting yourself and the universe. Like you put your allll into these identity titles where with over time you will feel boxed in and there will be more quilt if you ever wanted to engage with a certain activity again.

Anyways, my work is for those who do have an all or nothing mindset and so ready to make life feel good and have fun again. and today (5.4) I am starting a 3 week portal to ALIGN to your inner being (and not take erratic action) but rather align to the voice of your Inner Being so any action you doooo take is feel good, fun, and in alignment.

BOLD MAGiC

my spaces keep your relationship tasting like sweet vanilla ice cream.

My spaces keep your LIFE tasting like sweet vanilla ice cream.

We go deeeeeeeep as fuck but really it’s to just have fun 🌈🫧🥂

In love and upward spiiiiiiraaaalllls,

SAMMi

🍰🫧

If you’re in a long term relationship you may be at the stage where you don’t necessarily fight anymore but you bicker or hop into defense mode. You may be a part in your relationship where your relationship is overall “good” but that lovey dovey spark is not so…sparkly.

You’ll notice the bickering + defense modes really take root when you are both going through outside stressors. Now you have 2 over stimulated adults who need to actually nee be alone but keep trying to “talk about their feelings” or “solve what’s wrong” or you try to put your therapy cap on and “get to the root of your issues”.

When outside stressors are happening to you, him, or both of you as a couple. It is NOT the time to “talk about your relationship”.

Before we get into today’s article I would love to let you know that I am hosting a 3 week pop up on receiving a nudge and following it alllll the way through 🧞‍♀️🔮 In the past 2 months I listened to my nudge of creating front facing reels and it’s resulted in 8,000 new followers, I listened to the nudge to create a side membership and filled it with 400 people in 1 week, I listened to the nudge of moving to Florida with no logical reason and right as we were going to give up lviing in Florida because it felt like nothing was working out…..a life changing opportunitiy landed in my fiances lap that also benefits me. I listened to a nudge to make a reel on my transformation even when I didn’t feel ready or cute and from 1 reel alone it brought me in 5,000 new followers. I am holding a space for you to take quick action and to stop over analyzing everything !! Your Inner Being is here and wanting you to create your path of least resistnace 🧞‍♀️ You’re meant to feel hot, be in love, and make money in your desired way!

🧞‍♀️ BOLD MAGiC 🧞‍♀️

All of the above happened in the past 2 months !! Before that I listened to the nudge I was going to meet my soul mate on Hawai’i and I had never been before. I hopped on a plane 2 weeks after the nudge and now we’ve been together going on 7 years and I have a fat pink diamond heart 🩷 on my finger 💍

I had a nudge to open up a paid membership, literally created it within 1 day, sold 20 spots within 2 days.

You are here to EASILY receive the things you have been calling in but you overthink, you analyze, you mull it over, you “sit” on it. Babe….you TRUST yourself now…. and now is the time to fucking moooveeeee <3

🧞‍♀️ BOLD MAGiC 🧞‍♀️

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Re-Lighting the Spark in your Romantic Relationship requires HIGH self awareness.

Self reflection is key. Are you tasting like sweet vanilla ice cream or do you reek off spoiled milk?

Are you a high conflict individual?

A lot of self aware intelligent + intuitive women are because they are programmed to be hyper-vigilant but call it “being an empath”.

How to know if you’re a high conflict person:

1. You’re hyper aware of his moods. You know if something is wrong or off (because you’re an intuitive, duh). And you ask “what’s wrong!?” Or “what’s going on with you?”. Or you try to check in with him like you’re his therapist or coach 🫠 (this is sure to be a boner killer).

You want to understand that you are not: his mother, his therapist, his coach, or teacher.

You are his sexy cool fun hot intelligent amazing artistic fun sexy cool girlfriend, fiance, or wife (lol).

You are here to have fun, be cute, and have hot sex that leaves your ears ringing.

When you step into being his therapist your milk spoils. When you step into be his mom your milk has custards of clumpy bacteria. But when you remain pouring into your own cup and not analyzing his mood you make sweet vanilla ice cream.

Your only job is to keep yourself feeling good, wrapped up in your own life + hobbies, and become obsessed with your art. Your only job is to bring that same focus you use to scan his moods and plug it into your artistic expressions 🎨

You have to trust, like deeply trust, that if you did something wrong or something is wrong with the relationship he will have a conversation with you about it. You have to trust that if something is genuinely bothering him that’s outside of you, that he will tell you about it IF he wants to.

If you notice he is in a bad mood….leave that man alone. Go get out your art supplies, go turn on stand up comedy, order yourself (and him if you want) some doordash. If you notice he is in a bad mood this a signal to just turn the other cheek and plug back into filling up your own cup 💞🫖 his bad mood is none of your business 💅🏻 not your problem 💅🏻 not your baggage to take on 💅🏻

Also, when you turn the other cheek and fill up your own cup when you feel like something is wrong is amazing practice to strip being hyper vigilant in its entirety. Turning the other cheek will re-program your mind which will result in quick forward momentum around what you want to manifest.

2. You don’t know how to handle discomfort and “need” everything to be your way. (You’re a brat).

You can tell if you’re a high conflict person if you feel the need for everything to be your way. Having a need for everything to be “right” is sneaky because you are taught by the spirituality crowd that life should always be working in your favor. Or that you are a princess and here to receive everything you want in life. So you justify your brattiness with “well I SHOULD be pampered” or “he SHOULD be at my beck and call” or “I SHOULD be spoiled”.

You’re here to get everything you want out of life but when you start putting that on your man you create spoiled milk with large clumps in it.

Examples:

You feel bothered when he doesn’t do the dishes in your preferred way or fills up the dishwasher and it’s not how you like it….

He doesn’t take the parking spot that you would have taken and that’s iritating for you…

You feel irritated when he is doing something other than giving you attention.

You feel bothered when he is on his phone scrolling or texting with someone.

you are a brat.

It’s all “cute and funny” until it’s not anymore.

You may say or think to yourself, “no he loves this about me” and sure maybe he is feeding into your brattiness and giving you attention after the fact.. but you want to understand the health of your overall relationship and being a brat takes away from the vitality and passion and sexiness and polarity.

It turns your relationship to spoiled rotten milk.

Number 2 is more so about regulating your own emotions, making sure you’re grounded, and alloowwwwiiiinnnggg yourself to feeeeeel uncomfortable when things don’t go your way and then zipping your mouth about it.

Number 2 isn’t about being a mute and never expressing your botheredness….but you really do need to pick and choose your battles here or you will always be creating a constant battlefield where both of you are always in defense mode.

Let him fuck up. Let him fuck up a lot. seriously.

There is a difference between expressing your botherdness when the dishes aren’t done right or when he’s actually driving erradically and it’s scaring you and making you feel unsafe.

Check in with your botheredness and ask yourself if you are in danger or if he’s actually trying to hurt you. If you know he’s just being human, I would let it go. If you genuinely feel bothered, scared, or feel like what he said was not ok…speak up.

An easy way to check in with number 2 is asking yourself first if he is just being human and messing up a little or is he being disrespectful/erratic/unsafe. But just because you feel uncomfortable and uneasy does not mean you’re in danger.

You need to un-do this in your body + mind 💞

3. Your focus is still programmed into…..needing him to make sure you feel good.

A high conflict partner still needs her man to behave “right” so that she can relax and feel good.

Meaning, you haven’t found your inner obsessions yet so you’re always needing him to be in a good mood so that you can relax and be in a good mood. You’ve created this co-dependent emotional tie with him where you “feel” what he is feeling. You have a REALLY hard time feeling good when he is not feeling good. This is an issue and it’s bound to keep you both looping in defense mode + bickering + removing polarity from your relationship.

It turns your relationship from sweet vanilla ice cream to spoiled rotten clumpy milk.

When you are able to be in good mood despite him is hard to practice at firs. but if you don’t try and practice you’re not going to evolve back into sexiness, spark, chemistry, and high polarity (sweet vanilla ice cream). It’s just going to be this groundhog day loop where you have a few good moments throughout the week but then bicker and return to feeling bothered most of the time.

The main work we do inside UPWARD SPiRAL (my manifestation membership) is practicing emotional sovereignty. Feeling good, having fun, and pouring into your own cup despite what is going on in your current reality. And as I mentioned above, I am hosting a 3 week pop up (an UPWARD SPiRAL exclusive) to program your mind so that your dominant voice (your internal dialogue) is that of your Inner Being! This is not only going to enhance your personal life but it will enhance your romantic relationship 🩷

🧞‍♀️ BOLD MAGiC 🧞‍♀️

Ways to re-spark your romantic relationship:

🍦 Stop trying to figure out if your relationship is “good” or if he’s integrity. Stop analyzing your relationship all together and return your focus back into self…

🍦 Think more about your art than you do him.

🍦 If you resonate with the princess archetype (read these articles to see) you gotta remember you’re a princess and lean into the ways that a princess is happy

which is….

being hot as a hobby (pampering yourself)

connecting with your creative genius

Pouring into your cup and making your only job be to feel good.

Princess Archetype

Princess vs Queen Archetype

🍦 Learning the art of vulnerable expression versus therapy talk or being aggressive + a high conflict person.

You teach yourself how to talk with feeling and vulnerability versus commands and “sit down” chats

When you stop going to him “to talk” you’ll notice a spark builds again.

Once again, this isn’t about being a mute or holding everything in.

You just need to learn how to express yourself in a way where it doesn’t turn into therapy conversations or high conflict commands

Examples”

🍦 “My feelings are really hurt 🥺”

Versus

🥛 “Why the fuck would you say that to me?”

Or

🍦 “That didn’t feel good to hear…”

Versus

🥛 “Don’t talk to me like that”

Or

🍦 “I feel really tender right now…”

Versus

🥛 “Stop being so mean to me”

Or

🍦 “This feels really criticizing and I am feeling really defensive”

Versus

🥛 “You’re always criticizing me”

Or

🍦 “I want to stay connected, but I need this to slow down”

Versus

🥛 “Calm the fuck down!”

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Pure expression where you don’t place blame takes real regulation work, un-doing hyper vigilance, grounding yourself all of the time, and actually putting intention into talking to your partner like the bolded statements.

And when you are in a long term relationship there usually is more history, sometimes more resentment, more patterns that have shown themselves so topics can feel way more sensitive + defensive

You’ll notice that the longer you’re in a relationship with someone the more you need to learn how to authentically + vulnerably express yourself if you want to keep your relationship taking like sweet vanilla ice cream and not turning into spoiled clumpy milk.

If you feel really hurt + reactive this is a good sentence to keep in the back of your pocket:

That hurt me. I’m going to take a minute so I can stay in my heart instead of reacting.

Ground yourself. Take a few deep breaths. And figure out how to authentically express yourself where it doesn’t turn into commands or high conflict statements. OR it doesn’t turn into a therapy session…..

Meaning, you don’t want to tap into being his coach. Stop giving him pep talks. Literally just learn how to authentically express.

The formula is very SIMPLE.

But it sometimes has to take a shit ton of practice for high conflict individuals or women who are very hyper vigilant and sensitive.

And if you’re looking for a space where you want to align with the inner most part of you…where you can truly lead your life from authenticity, vulnerability, but still being a powerful co-creator of your reality…..

Come to 🧞‍♀️ BOLD MAGiC 🧞‍♀️ over the next 3 weeks I will be showing you how to program your mind to that of your inner being.

I believe your Inner Being is the most authentic, the most fun, the most loving, the most abundant, the most happy version of you. Your Inner Being isn’t pure or righteous or perfect. Your Inner Being is authentic but being authentic is freedom. You came here to live a unique path that isn’t meant to look like others ways of living.

🧞‍♀️ BOLD MAGiC 🧞‍♀️

In love and upward spiiiiirals,

SAMMi

🍰🫧

I feel as if a lot of people who post relationship + dating are 1-2 years in their relationship. At least that is what I have observed.

I know VERY FEW people who talk on long term relationships that have been with their person 5+ years.

I want you to take that into account when you’re scrolling social media ♡༛༛ ✧✧

Before year 2 of a relationship I would consider that still that honey moon energy. You haven’t quite triggered each other to your core yet. Or maybe you have but honestly, I don’t think you’ll understand what I mean until you’re at least with someone for 4 years. I know time is relative. And at the same time, people who have been with their partner for a long time do know more about a relationship than someone who has never had a long term relationship.

Think about it this way….look at your own life chapters. Maybe you do drastically change from year to year but overall you most likely are the same-ish for 2 years.

But then looking back 3 years ago or 4 years ago, you barely resonate with the person you were.

But if you look back 1 or 2 years ago, you’re obviously going to relate to that past version of self more than you were if you were looking back 3, 4, 5, 6 years ago ♡♡♡♡

My point is, when you’re with someone for a long time you’re meant to change. You’re meant to go through crazy times together. You’re meant to go through hard chapters.

You’re not meant to relate to the couple that you were during year 1 or year 2….it’s unfair to do that to your relationship. You don’t relate to the person you were 4 years ago…so why would you put your relationship through that?

To be clear, I am NOT normalizing suffering or even toxic energy in a romantic partnership.

Read my last 2 free articles on the health of your long term relationship here:

♥︎ ❥❥ ༛ Why you should ~not~ use love as an indicator to measure your relationship.

“I love you unconditionally”

No you don’t lol.

I want to kill off the fantasy thinking in relationships because it’s all fun to dream about but it’s doing a million times more harm and killing off intimacy + passion in your relationship.

When you have a very grounded way of viewing your relationship it gives more room for the relationship to breathe. And when your relationship can breathe, that’s when it starts to grow more + thrive more 🫧༛ ✧✧ 🗝️

You cannot use feelings of love to measure your long term relationship. And if you are….you’re in deep doo doo 💩

When others just get together based on a mutual feeling of love, the relationship fails.

A relationship is quite literally a partnership.

There are going to be so many times in your relationship where you don’t feel “love” and that doesn’t mean you should break up.

Are you feeling in-love with yourself 24/7?

If you say yes, you’re lying 🤥

Emotions are a moment in time. There is no 1 emotional state that lasts infinity 𖦹♾️𖦹 You are meant to experience the spectrum of emotions. If you’re just using EMOTION to measure your relationship, you’re being immautre. You’re not 15 anymore 💖

If you want to measure your long term relationship you need to look at the full picture 🖼️

You look at how you’re housemates ♡ ༛🫧 what skills you lack but he makes up for and visa versa 🫧༛ ☽ do you support one another when it comes to your dreams and visions ❥🫧 do you agree on major values in life ༛🫧༛ do you have similar (ish) belief systems when it comes to “life” ♡🫧 ✩ the respect that you have for one another 🫧 honesty ✧✧🫧 devotion 🫧☆ do you feel comfortable around him when you feel at your ugliest and lowest? ♡🫧 do you feel like both of you are pushing each other to be better even if it’s not in your exact desired way of how he supports you but overall he does help you be better? ༛♡🫧

★★🪦 ༛★ If you want your relationship to feel shitty + fail this is what you should measure:

☠️ How many dates he takes you on

☠️ How many presents he buys you

☠️ Does he surprise you with flowers

☠️ Did he kiss you today

☠️ Was your sex good

☠️ Has he told you that you are pretty in the past week

Again,

Are you 15? lol

YES of course your man should be loving up on you and doing nice things for you and at the same time you have to have a GROUNDED take on what’s going on in both of your lives. Look at the FULL picture, return to facts. It’s so0o0o easy to get gifts for each other or for him to buy you flowers randomly when you are both are feeling good, making good money, and happy in your individual lives. But if he (or you) are going through hardships and external stressors then those things may take a back seat while you both move through stress and return to basics.

And

If HE is going through a hard time, he needs to be putting himself first. You may be on the back burner for a short amount of time. Does that mean he should ignore you and be rude? No! But humble yourself and literally turn the tables. If you were going through a hard time in life wouldn’t you want to put yourself first? And how annoying would it be if he was texting you daily crying about not getting enough attention from you. You would want him to understand your stress and what you’re going through, so you do have to give that same grace 💕

Most relationship + dating advice I see online is entitled and immature lol. It’s self obsessed in a narcissistic way not an embodied way. Or it’s coming from girlies who have only been in a relationship less than 2 years who now think they are relationship experts.

“If he _______ he’s not YOUR man!”

If I hear that saying one more time 🙄🔫

You may see online creators who just broke up with their toxic ex and now manifested their “dream relationship” and so they start to give relationship advice.

You may see women who are very embodied in their personal lives and extremely successful, but chronically single…and give relationship advice.

These types of creators make you want to listen to them because they are doing well in a lot of areas of their life. It’s not that their advice is wrong or bad….and - I really don’t think anyone has room to talk on long term relationships if they’ve never kept an overall healthy long term relationship.

I think what happens is someone leaves their toxic ex that they were with for a veryyyyy long time….then they get into a really fun new relationship and now this person feels like they know everything about love + relationships.

I honestly feel in my heart you should be learning from people who are like you (for relationship advice). So if you did just get out of a toxic long term relationship and ready to manifest a fresh new experience, then sure listen to that type of creator. But for someone who has been in a long term relationship and wants to keep it….seek out someone who is in a similar position.

or better yet….

stop reading any type of relationship content and just trust your relationship instead 🤓

What will help mend some relationship anxiety for you ♥︎ 𖦹 💕༛༛ ♥︎ 🪽

♥︎༛ 🪦☪︎ Understand that if you are with someone for years + years there are also death + grief cycles you will go through together as a couple.

When you are in a death + grief cycle it’s best to NOT look to couples who are in their spring chicken era. (New couples, freshly engaged couples, freshly married couples, just had a baby couples)

Although, I see these moments also being a catalyst for death + grief cycles (engagement, getting married, and having a baby). Not at first and maybe you won’t go through it at all but I think it’s important to grieve who you are not so you can make room for what you are walking into.

For example, getting married…you may need to make room for grief around “who you could have been if you were single”. Allow yourself to be sad.

Then re-program your mind with understanding that you always get to be who you want to be 😎 and your partner can extend that 🌀 (if you treat your union like a partnership, that is).

♥︎ ༛༛ 💖☽ If you are someone who resonates with being highly self aware then you also will struggle more with relationship anxiety. This only happens if you’re not passionate about something outside of yourself (your art + creativity).

Self aware women tend to analyze + nit pick their relationships the most. Because it’s true, ignorance is bliss ha. The more aware you grow the more hyper-vigilant you become. It’s not about killing off that part of you but you need to channel it into your brand, your art, your passion projects instead. You’ll notice that the more bored you are with your own life the more you analyze your relationship. The more passionate you become with your art, the more space you can give your relationship for your relationship to naturally move back into deeper harmony.

♥︎ 🪽❥❥ ★ Knowing that having 1 foot in and 1 foot out will destroy your relationship.

What does this mean?

you’re saying things like:

🪦 well just going to see how this relationship goes!

🪦 only time will tell!

🪦 I don’t really know if he’s the one or not!

And it’s like you have this teeter tottering feeling about it all. On one hand you love spending time with your man but in your own mind you’re prepping yourself for future heart break so you’re intentionally not letting yourself go allllll the way there with him. It’s like you have these invisible walls up.

You tend to not make your relationship a big deal or maybe you do bad mouth him behind his back to your friends.

You try to come off as not as into it as you actually are.

All of these things are recipes for disaster + actual heart break.

If you want your relationship to thrive you have to put your allllll into it and consciously choose him every single day ♥︎ You have an inner-standing that you’re never going to resort to any type of break up talk ♥︎ You know that just because you get into a fight doesn’t mean you’re going to break up ♥︎ Or just because you’re going through a hard time, doesn’t mean it’s going to lead to a breakup ♥︎

You need to have an all in mentality because if every time you have an argument your mind goes into “omg do we need to break up?” you’re going to create SO much extra relationship anxiety and when you have relationship anxiety it bleeds into every area of your life.

When you do not feel good in your love life, you won’t feel good in any other area of your life 𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹

You do have to have an all in or all out mindset when it comes to a building a healthy + secure long term relationship with someone.

Which also means, you accept ALL of him, even the parts you don’t like.

You’ll notice that the moment your mind goes into 1 foot in + 1 foot out energy ~ it will create disharmony in your relationship. You’ll start seeing the bad, you’ll get into an argument, you’ll stay up late at night in anxiety wondering if he’s the one or not.

insert downward spiralllll

You gotta bring your mind into it….

“I am choosing this man daily and accepting all of him”.

You trust the Universe to do the heavy lifting ★♥︎★ You trust that if you’re not meant to be together you both will naturally part ★♥︎★ You trust that if you’re meant to break up it will be a mutual decision but it’s not something that needs to get figured out right now ★♥︎★ You trust that it’s your only job to just have fun and enjoy the relationship for what it is ★♥︎★ and again, if it’s not meant to be then a parting will happen but you never actually need to figure out a breakup ★♥︎★ It will happen if it’s meant to ★♥︎★

Look back on your own life, look back on the people you’ve broke up with (friends, lovers, etc). I can bet that these breakups didn’t result from analyzing the relationship in-depth.The breakup just sort of happened. Either you had a natural parting with someone and you both slowly stopped speaking to one another OR something abrupt happened where your entire body rejected this person and there was no other solution THEN to break up with them. It’s like you couldn’t not break up.

You have to trust that this is how it will be for all future relationships. A natural parting will happen or you’ll just know. But you never need to analyze yourself into a knowing.

That’s not how intuition works ♡✧✧ 🫧༛ 🗝️

If you’re new here I am SAMMi 🍰🫧 a manifestation teacher + writer. I write a shit on the law of attraction, feminine energy, and overcoming your shitty patterns 🌀 I loooove helping women just feeeel better in their romantic relationships. so if you struggle with any type of relationship (or dating) anxiety, i’m ur girl.

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I also run a community, UPWARD SPiRAL 🌀, where we work on overcoming our patterns to shift into our UPWARD SPiRAL.

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in love + upward spiiiiirals,

SAMMi

🍰🫧💒🪽

If you missed the article I sent out a few days back I wrote about the health of your long term relationship and I got a LOT of praise for it! So if you’re in a long term relationship and missed my article, you should read it! It will make you feel way better 💕

read here <3

When you are in a long term relationship you notice a serious undertone take place. It’s like the longer you are together…the more serious everything starts to feel. In the beginning stages of a relationship (honey moon phase) you’re basically just delighted at what he is giving you. You haven’t gotten time to “know him” yet and both of you haven’t been triggered or activated by each other…jussssst yet (it will happen).

The longer you are with someone, the more you get to know ALL of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Which means you start to see their shadows and projections and they start to see yours.

The honeymoon dies because now you are focused on each other’s shadow traits. When you are focused on his shadow traits you start to view the relationship from lack. When you view the relationship from lack you start to nitpick and grasp and get your panties in a bunch around how he is not meeting your needs and you turn every little inconvenience into “him not meeting your needs”.

From Honeymoon phase, to your first Trigger, to seeing his Shadow, to now being under the impression of lack…it’s a snow ball effect.

This snowball effect happens because you are being lazy with your mind 💕 You’re looking to conditions and what is going on in your current reality to define how you feel.

He does something…unfavorable.

You get triggered.

You move back into harmony / resolve.

He does something unfavorable.

You get triggered…

♾️ 🔁 🔁 🔁 ♾️

Now it’s gotten to the point where he leaves a dirty dish in the sink or didn’t kiss you soon enough when he got home from work and you start to demonize every action he takes or behavior that isn’t tending to you “in the right way”.

All the relationship content out there is telling you “girl you should be getting ALL your needs met or he isn’t your man!”

And so now you’re basically scanning every thing he does.

You tell yourself…. “no I am not….I am actually really chill”…

and look maybe you are to an extent but if you are scanning his behavior + actions then….you are under the premise of lack and not only lack but you are not regulated. Scanning his behavior and the actions he takes or doesn’t take is hyper-vigilance. You need to learn how to kill that in yourself or you’re going to suffer for a very very very long time.

Hi I am Sammi and I am a writer and manifestation teacher and my work helps self aware + high achiever women feel good in their monogamous long term romantic relationship 💒💕 I teach joy AS the manifestation method and help a lot of creatives + artists as well.

My entire blog is free where you can find more teachings on romantic love + the law of attraction + universal laws + miracles + overcoming anxious attachment:

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You can book me for a 1:1 ~ 60 min session on Telegram (voice memo + text) and I can help you with your romantic relationship:

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Or you can join my paid manifestation membership, UPWARD SPiRAL, for creative geniuses who want it all. I go in-depth with what I write here on my blog but you also get journal prompts, challenges, and all women community cheering you on (:

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You want to understand that there is not 1 person on planet earth who is going to

“meet all your needs”.

That programming enables deep co-dependency. It programs you into lack. And when you’re programmed this way…YOU suffer deeply 💖

I am not telling you that you need to suffer in a relationship either and I am not telling you to ignore things that deeply bother you.

I am talking to the feminine heart who has an overall good guy but there are certain things that bother you. But in the grand scheme of things he is amazing and loves you deeply and most of your major values align.

You must approach every encounter that you feel bothered by with a grounded perspective.

Not everything needs to be communicated and in fact, I believe over-communication is killing the passion in your relationship.

You have learned to voice all your needs and deeply explain yourself and get to the root of every single problem.

All this does is keep you looping in the same shit with your man. It makes you turned off to life… and it kills his boner.

You have to trust and understand that when 2 loving people pair up there is something invisible that happens. A deep bond connection where you become so intuitive with one another. All this logic and communication is killing off that intuitive connection.

You know when you’re having sex with someone you love and after that warm up stage there is a deep primal energy that takes over and all the sudden he knows exactly what he is doing and is hitting all the right spots for you? There are no words…there is no explaining yourself…it’s just deep and intuitive and connected?

Well you can turn your every day life into that.

Where if you just let him….fuck up….without making it a big deal or dramatic story….trust he will learn from that fuck up (even if it’s not in your preferred way lol) and trust he will come around and start to meet your needs without you trying to get him to meet your needs.

You quite literally need to take your focus AWAY from your man and your relationship. Let it breathe babe 💖 It does NOT need your constant analysis. It does NOT need your attention right now.

What if you give that SAME seriousness to your art and creative projects? And what if you treated your man like a fun hobby instead? lol (:

Switch the roles of your creative artistic expression and your man.

Go deep and be serious about your art.

Have fun with your man.

And watch your life upward spiral 🌀

Remove the premise of “getting your needs met” all together from your relationship.

You want to plug back into yourself and make YOURSELF happy despite whateverrrrr the fuck he is doing. What he is doing is actually NONE of your business.

I honestly feel like we have become so entitled as a society. So self obsessed but not in a good way. You’re always going to your relationship like “me me me me” without actually understanding and looking at how you have been showing up and what energy you have been giving off.

Trust me when I say…..

the more anxious you become the more avoidant he becomes.

You don’t have one without the other in a bonded pair.

And if he becomes anxious it’s because you’ve been avoidant and not being honest about how you actually feel. (There is a way to do this where it doesn’t bleed into over communication. You basically just are honest about your feelings without projecting them on to him or making them his issue. But you’re 24/7 honest about the way you feel and if you’re not practicing this it creates emotional walls.)

Men respond to Women point blank. You cannot convince me otherwise. When you are in a bonded monogamous relationship with a man, he responds to YOUR energy 💕💖

Or rather, who ever holds the feminine energy in the relationship. remove gender from it.

When you make yourself happy + become obsessed with your Art 🎨🫧💕 When you wear outfits for yourself and eat the foods you are obsessed with 🍰💖 When you stop considering him in every single action you take…. When you turn on YOUR music and get into your own energy 🫧🍦🍰💕 Trust me when I say…..your needs will be met 😈 He will fuck your brains out girl! TRUST ME LOL! If you’ve been craving that feeling of being ravished and it has not been happening then you are probably not in your healthy feminine energy.

I will most likely have to devote a whole article to what I believe healthy feminine energy is because it’s too much to explain right now lol.

This is what I would do to bring back…feeling good…in my long term relationship:

1. If an issue appears…like he does something that I find unfavorable (maybe he is more snappy or maybe he is in a generally bad mood or maybe he is distant).

I would ask myself ~ is there anything contributing to his bad mood? Is he stressed at work? Is he having financial problems? Etc.

If he is experiencing outside stressors,

Give that man grace babe.

You don’t need to dig dig dig into every bad mood he has.

Let him be.

Give him space.

Like actually give him space. Go in the other room. Stop endlessly texting him.

Don’t ask him “what’s wrong??????”

Literally just give grace + space and go do something that would fill up your own cup (watch a movie, make art, go out with a friend, meditate, etc).

2. Let’s say there IS an issue that deeply bothers you and it’s something you simply cannot ignore…you need to be honest without projecting 💕

   You express your emotions without a dramatic story.

   Maybe he snaps at you and it genuinely hurt your feelings.

   Just say, “ouch!!” or let yourself cry. He will either apologize and make up right away or ask you what is wrong. If he asks you what is wrong just say “My feelings are hurt, that hurt really bad”. Just leave it at that. No over-explaining, no dramatic story telling, just pure raw honest emotional expression.

   You’re straight up just expressing emotion without over explaining yourself.

   If it’s something that genuinely pisses you off and you feel angry then go, “UGH!!!” or stomp the ground or do something to move the anger.

   You want to practice expressing your emotions on the other side of the spectrum as well. When you feel joy, appreciation, etc. EXPRESS IT WITH GHLEE 🙂‍↔️💖

3. Understand what season of life you are in and understand that your relationship also goes through seasons and NEVER compare your season to someone else’s.

If you were single you would understand that there are times when you feel happy and life feels easy. You also understand that sometimes you go through hard chapters. You understand that sometimes you do get sick.

Well your romantic relationship is the same….

But what happens is you give yourself grace (well maybe you don’t lol) but rather you understand that you go through cycles.

But most people do not have this comprehension when it comes to their relationship. Their relationship enters a harder chapter and now all the sudden you question breaking up?

Honestly if you want to be in a long term relationship you MUST be regulated or it simply will not work out. When I say regulated I mean approaching each situation in a grounded perspective. Returning to FACTS and not dramatic inner stories.

Example: He comes home from work in a bad mood and now your feelings are hurt and you’re turning it into…. “Is he still into me? I feel like our relationship is dying….”

RETURN TO FACTS !!

He doesn’t like his job.

He is having financial troubles.

Did he TELL YOU he isn’t into you anymore? lol

He actually hasn’t told you anything “is wrong”.

Trust the facts. Trust that a man will tell you straight up if he isn’t feeling it anymore or feels like there is something wrong in the relationship. If he doesn’t do this….you always assume the best.

4. Make your Artistic Passions your Boyfriend 💖 and make your Boyfriend your Hobby 🙂‍↔️💕

The reason that “Creative Love” (my first publication on Substack) was birthed was because I was trying to heal my anxious attachment. I was learning about attachment theory, following popular dating coaches and listening to their advice, I was going deep with my own shadow work. Nothing moved the needle for me though. Here I am working on myself and healing my wounds but 7 years later I still struggled with what would be defined as Anxious Attachment.

I got so over trying to fix my relationship. I felt exhausted by trying to get my boyfriend to “behave in a way I approve of”. Ick lol.

In the Summer of 2022 mid Saturn Return, my boyfriend and I took trip and traveled to 4 different countries. Because we were going on “vacation” my mind tapped into “just have fun”.

and I noticed by being more relaxed with life and letting myself have fun (like going to Italy and stuffing my face with burrata, pasta, gelato, and drinking an entire bottle of wine each night at dinner….) I started to feel SO much better.

I remember crying because of how happy I felt. I felt so free in my own body and mind for the first time….ever.

While in Italy we were taking a train to another part of Italy. And I was literally downloaded with an entire book on that plane. I was channeling and filling up a million journal pages.

I got the idea 💡 to talk about having fun, making art, and anxious attachment.

So when we got home I spent the entire rest of the summer writing. Every single morning I woke up I devoted myself to write at least 1,000 words. And I did!

I put my energy into writing versus trying to “fix my relationship and heal my anxious attachment”.

and by the end of summer I hit 80k words and it felt like I didn’t even know what feeling anxious in a relationship felt like anymore.

I stopped caring….and not in a way where I stopped loving him…but I stopped making his life my business and it was freeing as fuck.

I felt so0o0o in love with my art (my writing) that I literally didn’t care what he was or wasn’t doing. Then it felt like everything he DID give me was like the biggest blessing on earth. My cup was filled so anything he added to it felt like a sweet juicy cherry on top of my already fudgy ice cream sundae.

That 80k words document turned into Creative Love (the publication you’re reading right now). And through writing Creative Love I got the idea to start my second publication, Miracle Zone. and through Miracle Zone I got the idea to launch UPWARD SPiRAL (my paid membership I hold). And it’s like every single good idea I got was because I removed my focus from my relationship and plugged it into my art.

And here I am now fully financially independent off of my art 💖 Staring out of the windows at the aqua blue Caribbean ocean…sitting in my pajamas drinking coffee and feeling grateful I don’t have to go clock in somewhere in a couple hours.

I don’t worry about my relationship.

I meet my own needs.

I obsess over my own art.

and it feels like my relationship IS intuitive as fuck and all my needs are naturally met 💖 sexually, emotionally, spiritually… but I don’t measure that…

I’ll talk a lot more about this but that is what I got for ya today 💕

You can book me for a 1:1 60 min session on telegram (texting + voice memo) for $150 and we can devote your session to your romantic love life.

Or you can join my manifestation membership, UPWARD SPiRAL if you are an independent self learner but want a community of other women cheering ya on (:

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In love and upward spirallllls,

SAMMi

🍦🫧🍰💖💕🪽💒

Wow hi my lover girls 🍰🫧💕 it’s been a MINUTE since I wrote for Creative Love and sent out an article on romantic love. If you have been reading Miracle Zone and the articles I have been sending out recently…you know I’ve been in transformative time with my fiance. I knew I couldn’t write on love just yet. I knew I was maturing in my relationship and really moving from the energy of cutesy boyfriend and girlfriend into our engagement chapter. And unfortunately for us, our engagement chapter has not come with exciting or fun wedding planning. Instead it has come with heaps of stress and questioning our entire life.

and thank fucking GOD we stuck it out together 💖 there were many nights where we were discussing our relationship and “what we should do” because nothing felt right for the longest time. We had zero ounce of clarity over the direction we wanted to go as a couple after our shared vision that we worked towards for 5 years crumbled (moving to Hawaii and that not working out). 2 weeks after our engagement in October 2024 we fell into…limbo and had been in this limbo energy up until 1 month ago during February when the trajectory of our entire lives changed.

You can read about that here <3

During our limbo chapter we kept analyzing our relationship and trying to figure out whether it was better to stay together or go our separate ways. We listened to heart over logic. Both of our hearts felt a strong pull to one another but the logical side of trying to make our relationship work didn’t really make sense. Until it did 🥲💕

It’s really hard being in a long term relationship and also being chronically online 👾👩🏼‍💻 🗝️

All that is thrown in your face are celebrations of the single era and how you can always do better. You have access to instant gratification. You can download 1 app and within minutes see 20+ people who are all desiring you.

There isn’t really a lot of support for monogamous long term couples. It feels like everything outside of you is always trying to break you down. Because “the grass is always greener on the other side” (or is it?). Even on social media, you see many posts highlighting the glamorous life of being single, and not too many people are celebrating their long standing committed romantic relationship. And even the people who are posting about their relationship are judged because “why is your relationship being used as content? Something MUST be wrong because you’re always talking about how great your man is”.

If you desire to stay in your current romantic relationship I feel it’s VITALLLLLL to be surrounded by a couple or couples who have a healthy + lovingggg relationship as well. Or at least someone who is on your side of supporting you and your relationship. You need an honest friend, not a “good” friend, but an honest one. Not a ride or die friend……but a friend who is going to be real with you.

One of the main reasons my relationship has been able to last as long as it has is because I have friends who fully support my fiancé and our relationship. They are “team of us staying together”. I honestly don’t know how I could have been in this relationship without my friends 💕 I have friends who aren’t ride or dies, they are real and integrated and call me out on my bullshit.

The 4 keys that has saved my relationship:

🗝️ honest friends who call me on my bullshit.

🗝️ understanding how the law of attraction works.

🗝️ knowing my own shadows (in-depth).

🗝️ taking radical responsibility over everything i attract into my life.

From what I know to be true about energy + polarity + feminine + masculine energy…

♾️ Men respond to Women in a partnership ♾️

Or the masculine responds to the feminine (despite gender).

but who ever holds more of the feminine side of the equation…the masculine will respond to that.

Yes of course “everyone is their own person with their own authority” blah blah blah.

But I’ve also never been proven wrong that men respond to women…

Meaning, every single time I clean up 🧼 my side of the equation…my relationship moves back into deep love + harmony 💕🫧

if you understand how energy works ~ you know that life is attracted to your energetic set point. Whatever energy you are giving off ~ life responds to that. When you are care-free and non attached to outcomes…life has a way of working for you. When you are pent up and serious….life has a way of not panning out the way you wanted.

My main method I teach in all my spaces and to all my clients is Relief Work 🫧🗝️🪞 which means, finding mental dialogue that gives you a physical sensation of relief and then holding that feeling of relief in your body and watching your 3D experience match up with the relief you’re holding. You can’t manifest yourself out of external stressors. But you can change the meaning you give anything. Once you realize that your life is a mirror 🪞 of your own internal feelings 🫧 you’ll be wanting to seek out relief. Sometimes finding relief in a long term relationship means looking at how you have been showing up and owning up to the energy you’ve been giving off in your dynamic. Sometimes simple awareness gives you relief. When you understand how you’ve been showing up (and it stinks) you start to give off a different energy….and that new energy will bring your relationship back into harmony.

This is more on Relief Work but if you want to learn deeper about this concept come inside UPWARD SPiRAL:

Relief Work

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Being Valid in Victimhood doesn’t move the needle 🫧 🪡

Being Valid in Victimhood does not get you what you want from life 🌀

There are times when you are genuinely a victim.

There are times when someone else is in the wrong.

Radical Responsibility is not about dismissing that or overlooking fucked up people or situations.

But just because someone was fucked up to you, and you are valid in being a victim to that ~ it won’t give you what you want from life.

Being valid as a victim just appeases your ego.

You’re right and they’re wrong.

That’s all it does.

Again, being valid as a victim doesn’t get you want you want from life.

It doesn’t activate the law of attraction to work in your favor.

All it does is help you feel better about a situation and appeases your ego in your “rightness”.

Also, my work isn’t for people who are dating fucking losers. I am not talking to women who are in abuse or put up with bullshit. I am not talking to woman who overlooks screaming red flags and chooses to ignore them. Please seek out a therapist. I am not a therapist.

I am talking to women who have an overall good guy and that good guy is also human and makes mistakes (like you do, too).

What you see mostly online is rhetoric around “men are bad + women tend to be the emotionally mature ones”. If you are under this premise then you will continue to run into emotionally immature men and you will also stink of moral superiority.

I am not team women or team men.

I am team helping others thrive.

which means helping you take ownership over your own shitty behavior and not pretending to be God.

It means not taking a morally superior high ground.

If you want to be morally superior, just be single.

Seriously. You’ll save yourself a headache and your future man.

To be in a THRIVING long lasting healthy + loving relationship, you simply have to allow imperfection, you have to allow mess, you have to allow your “needs” not being met, you have to allow your person to royally fuck up.

Social media has led you to believe that you should be getting your needs met 24/7, that your man must be fucking God, that your relationship is meant to be easy and feeling good 24/7.

Think about it this way - take any man or relationship out of the equation. Look at yourself and your own chapters. You go through cycles right? Sometimes your life is hard? Sometimes it easy? Sometimes you’re thriving? Sometimes you’re sick? You just know that’s how life is. So tell me why, when it comes to your romantic relationship ~ the minute it doesn’t feel good you question breaking up or leaving or demonizing your person or making it their fault?

I’ll tell you why.

It’s because you’re unregulated. You don’t know how to feel uncomfortable without your mind sending a signal that you’re dying. You’re chronically online and reading rhetoric that is built to keep you miserable. You’re under the impression that your relationship has to feel good 24/7 or something is wrong with it, so you make your partner out to be the bad guy.

If you want your long term relationship to thrive…

You gotta humble yourself.

Not in a way where you need to dim your light, hell no.

When I say ~ humble yourself ~ I mean taking a look 🔎 at the way you’ve been showing up in the dynamic + asking yourself what energy you’re giving off as well.

Allow yourself to soften and also note the ways your man has showed up for you.

And most importantly ~ ask yourself if there is anything else going on in your life or his.

Are there external stressors going on?

If there are external stressors going on - it’s probably cue to give a little grace 🪽

You want to understand that quite literally no one on planet earth even comes close to perfection.

What will save you from making any life altering decisions that you may regret later is:

NEVER make any decisions or come to any conclusions when your mind is muddied.

That means:

🍰 Not analyzing your relationship when you are tired.

🍰 Not analyzing your relationship when outside stressors are going on.

🍰 Not analyzing your relationship…in general !!

When you trust you’re not in your “right mind” when you’re tired, over-stimulated, and burnt out ~ life actually moves way more smoothly for you 💖

Can you trust that you’re always making the right decision even if it doesn’t make sense? Can you trust that you’ll be guided out of unaligned relationships and opportunities if you just allow the Universe to do the heavy lifting for you? You have to trust that clarity comes in the form of being clear 💧 So if you are questioning a decision…that means you are not clear and your intuition has not spoken. I know that sounds obvious but “not knowing” is also an answer. Look at the times in your life when you just knew and you couldn’t NOT move. If you don’t have that intense inner knowing then it’s probably not time to make any life changing decisions. Strong inner knowing also comes with a strong NEED to take action. and if that need to action is not there…don’t force action!

I hope to bring some fresh relationship content to give you another perspective. I’ll be here showing you that you get to have fun, feel good, and have a loving + healthy relationship without all the therapy speak, long analyzing conversations, or turning into his mother. You get to be cute and have that be your only job. You get to be selfish af and allow that to the be transformer of your relationship.

Your only job for keeping your relationship healthy + loving is getting yourself to feel good despite him, despite your relationship… really just pouring back into your cup. Can you trust that? 🍒 (:

in love + upward spirals,

SAMMi

💒🪽💕🫧

I went to Costa Rica with 17 other women for a fun-spiritual-healing retreat. I honestly had no expectations going into it. I just wanted to come back with new creative business ideas. It was a spontaneous last minute decision.

What was revealed to me during the retreat was something so shocking yet so fucking obvious at the same time. It was revealed to me EXACTLY who I am 🩵

☆ ✩ 🫧 ✧ ☆ ✩ 🪞 ✧

My ENTIRE LIFE I have been cosplaying as a fun party popular girl.

And that is not me 🩵

I can see clearly how taking on the identity of a party girl created a deep anxious attachment in my romantic relationship.

☆ ✩ 🫧 ✧ ☆ ✩ 🪞 ✧

I am a Long Beach / Southern California Native.

Meaning, Hollywood fame + influencer culture was strongly conditioned into me. I ran in circles that were 1-2 people away from the most some of the famous people in the world. My best fried was fucking Channing Tatum. I went to school with children OF famous people. My point is ~ being IN this sorta fame/popular/hollywood culture was deeply engrained into me. It was all I knew for 25 years.

When I was 25 I finally decided to get up and leave California. I moved to Oregon alone. I was SHOCKED at the amount of women not wearing makeup. Absolutely jaw dropped. Which feels so silly writing this now but you only know what you only know. I wasn’t exposed to life outside of Southern California for 25 years.

I had traveled but very minimally. I remember telling all my friends, “omg no one wears makeup here”. I thought it was so refreshing AND odd. I noticed women not really….catering to a male’s gaze with their fashion style + physical looks in general.

To my surprise, it was a culture shock coming into a realization that the rest of the world was NOT like LA. I had such a limited lens until I moved away from my hometown.

And to add on to this…I have always been “popular”. Even in college, I was in the top sorority. I grew part of my instagram following as a Psychic reading famous influencers.

The LA conditioning was DEEP. Even my ex at the time ran in the most exclusive commercial real estate groups for downtown LA. My ex was extremely rich and was friends with billionaires.

Even with all of the shiny appearances I felt so out of place, I had chronic anxiety that made me self harm, I NEVER felt good, I was alwaysssss sick, I complained non stop.

Even though my brain was relating fame to success I absolutely hated all of it. I just sorta thought that was the only way. Any example of success I saw out of my 2 eyes was related to running in the right circles, being popular, being an influencer, or knowing famous people in LA.

I wrote more about falling into the conditioning of LA culture here:

I have been cosplaying as a Party Girl

During my retreat in Costa Rica while on a certain plant medicine - a very strong inner awareness was revealed to me.

The awareness being ~ I had NOT been accepting my natural self. I was hit so hard in the face with this awareness. My ego was PISSED! I did NOT like coming into the realization I am actually not a fun party girl.

Full blown realization I am indeed an introvert. I am deep. I am highly sensitive. I am extremely introspective. I am insanely in-tune with myself + surroundings. Highly aware individual.

Which may sound or seem obvious to you reading this.

But these are parts I have always been trying to change about myself since being into personal development.

I have been trying to shift these parts of me because these are the same parts that doesn’t want me to make new friends, these are the same parts that makes it difficult to be in groups, these are the same parts that makes it hard for me to have normal fun, these are the same parts that make me difficult in general. I am not easy going and have very LOW tolerance to any bullshit.

I am precise and boundaried but I thought this made me a bitch.

I thought this made me not a girl’s girl.

I thought I was doing myself a service trying to change these parts. I genuinely thought these traits were my shadows I just needed to overcome.

So now I am in that integration period where I am coming into full acceptance…this is who I am….and figuring out the ways to still honor myself but also to be easy where I can be easy. I am learning how to balance these traits in a way where it doesn’t make me shut off to life or in a way that makes me closed off or cold. My intention moving forward is to feel soft 🫧 to feel sweet 🩵 and to trust the things I love to do (or don’t love to do) without attaching an entire story around it ⛲️

Until now, I did not realize how this persona of trying to be fun, and trying to be chill, and trying to be popular caused me to abandon myself in so many ways…which manifested as “anxious attachment”. More on this below ⬇️

Why this relates to Anxious Attachment

☆ ✩ 🫧 ✧ ☆ ✩ 🪞 ✧

To me, all attachment “theory” boils down to fear + insecurity. And then the way fear + insecurity is expressed comes out as either feeling anxiety (needing external soothing) or feeling avoidant (running when conflict or vulnerability happens). To me though - it’s all the same.

ANDDDDD

Honestly? I think attachment theory is talked about way too fucking much and people love to attach definitions to valid human behavior.

Like you’re allowed to feel a little anxious, you’re allowed to feel a little fear, you’re allowed to avoid a little. Especially in the beginning phases of a relationship! There are these insane expectations on modern day relationships. Like you are JUST meeting someone and getting to know them - it MAKES SENSE you would feel a bit anxious over that or it MAKES SENSE you would avoid if conflict appears right away.

The issue that I see is abandoning self to fit in/abandoning self to be accepted by others. When you do not accept yourself it causes an insecurity which makes you want to be accepted by others to feel soothed because you don’t know how to soothe yourself or sit in your own discomfort.

Do yourself a favor and stop identifying with annnnny of this.

The deeper work is knowing who you are NOT - then learning how to accept that ⬇️ so it doesn’t ruin your relationships.

☆ ✩ 🫧 ✧ ☆ ✩ 🪞 ✧

You need confidence to create intimacy, softness, and accepting your partner.

The main issue in society, relationships, and yourself is insecurity. If you don’t know yourself you will create in a direction you don’t really want to end up going. AND sometimes you just gotta try on a new hat to see if you like something or not.

You’re insecure because you don’t fully know yourself. Understanding why you work the way you work and learning how to accept all your parts moves you into confidence. With that being said, it’s normal to not like certain parts of yourself. Allow yourself to not like certain parts without attaching a story to it. When you force “self love” you actually create a larger discord. Confidence is really about understanding who you are and being OK with not fully liking all your parts. You understand you don’t have super model beauty and maybe you don’t like that but you accept it and stop trying to force change and stop trying to force yourself into insane beauty standards. You understand that skinny will never be your body type and you don’t like that but you accept it and stop trying to force yourself to be skinny. THAT IS CONFIDENCE. A mix of knowing who you ARE and knowing who you are NOT - and then accepting all of that without being dramatic about it.

Even with the parts of you that you like + know are you. You don’t create a superior complex around it (hard). you just express it. So for example, maybe you are genuinely the top in your field. You know that but you stop making it mean you are more special than others. You ARE special but so is everyone else. You simply understand this is where you are gifted, you express your gifts, but you don’t place self on a pedestal. You understand everyone is gifted in different ways.

You can be unique.

You can be rare.

You can be different.

You can be insanely talented in your zone of genius.

You can know more.

You can be more spiritually advanced.

But this does not mean you are better than others.

What most people view anxious attachment as:

You get jealous easily.

You need your lovers constant validation.

You need to know your person is devoted to you.

You are afraid of being cheated on.

You compare yourself to other women.

You need to feel like you are being chosen

And what most people think this is due to:

Low self worth.

Insecurity in self.

Daddy issues.

A confidence issue.

What I don’t think most people realize:

The deeper part of anxious attachment is stemmed out of inability to see + accept the parts of you that you do not like. Insecurity causes you to abandon yourself and it makes you want to please others so you get that outward relief. You would rather NOT cause conflict so you choose to “be easy” so others can feel good and then because others feel good, you feel good.

Most people with anxious attachment have not mastered how to soothe self OR how to just be uncomfortable and be ok with it. If you want to fully clear your anxious tendencies you have to understand who you are NOT then sit in the discomfort of that and learn how to accept it.

Having anxious attachment is really just boiled down to: you have not figured out how to find relief on your own, soothe yourself, and be OK in pain.

☆ ✩ 🫧 ✧ ☆ ✩ 🪞 ✧

Falling into entitlement is the other side of the spectrum after “healing” from anxious attachment ⬇️

I see post people stuck in the entitlement category in the spiritual and personal development spaces. These people online I have seen say things like, “oops healed too much now I don’t want to be around anyone.” Or “healed my anxiety but now I am avoidant”. Or “not anxious anymore but hyper-independent and now no one can compare to me”.

You did not heal your anxious attachment if you feel that way ⬆️

Why so many people fall into the entitlement category is because

1. They do not understand the energetics behind anxiety and what healing anxiety looks like. So they copy what they see trending online or what they think is right.

2. On social media - main character syndrome is highly valued. Having high standards and boundaries are highly celebrated.

3. The SHADOW side of the Princess archetype is gaining popularity and having a sugar daddy is very glamorized. So these feelings and thoughts around ~ doing nothing to receive EVERYTHING is again - normalized.

4. Others just want to gain TikTok followers so they start talking about “divine feminine energy” and know nothing about it. So then it creates these beliefs that you just sit back, do nothing, and let a man fully cater to you.

and this is why SOOOO many fall for love bombing ⬆️

this is WHY so many women run from a good man.

This is WHY no one knows how to actually deal with conflict and you label a disagreement or fight as toxic. you expect to fully be accepted and adored and chosen but then you pick apart the person you are with.

If you want to be sure to fully move out of BOTH spectrums you do have to humble yourself which means ~ knowing yourself and understanding who you are NOT and actually sitting in the discomfort + pain of that. You learn how to hold pain and icky feelings. You learn how to handle conflict. You also learn why you are attracting certain patterns. You take full responsibility over your life and what you attract into it. You understand that being valid in your emotions actually does nothing for you if you want to create a life beyond what you are living now 🩵 if you want to truly live out your upward spiral you look at your patterns and shift beyond 🌀

Understanding Your Patterns

Art saved my life. My creative awakening was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I can guarantee if you are a highly senstive person then you are meant to be a creative. If you are not actively expressing your art it will manifest as disease….I don’t say that to scare you. But when you make art and hoard it…It causes ailments. And if you don’t make art at all and consider yourself to be highly sensitive then how’s your anxious attachment doing babe?

For my sensitives

More for my sensitives

I Help my clients, followers, and readers understand their patterns but not make a big deal about it all. I help you understand your gifts and where you ARE talented. I motive you to post online, share your art, and make money from it.

Do what you’re good at.

Stop trying to be something or someone you are not.

Find your obsession.

Hire me if you need help 🩵

I’ll kick your ass to make consistent money from your creativity.

People come to me when they’re ready to stop blaming outside things and are ready to take FULLLLLL responsibility of everyyythannnng in their life.

From energy siphoning - heart channeler 🌀

My manifestation monthly membership,

UPWARD SPiRAL

ViP for creative thought leaders - you’re ready to take responsibility of everything you attract into your life AND make consistent moneyyyy because you’re ready to show up consistently online.

ViP

In love + upward spiralllllls,

SAMMi

🌐🪞🫧

Anxiety is such a finicky feeling and if you grew up with always being anxious then it feels like anxiety IS your normal state. It feels like you’re always in search of finding that breath of relief…that exhale…you just want a weighted blanket on you 24/7. It feels like once you find that feeling of relief it doesn’t last long and the same cycle starts over. You feel anxious, you crave relief, you find relief, you feel anxious, you crave relief, you find relief, you feel anxious… 🔁🔃🔄

Even in the way you interact with people, you always question if what you said was too much or if you’re being too much. There seems to be this background worry if you’re being accepted or not by who ever you are surrounded by. There seems to be this tendency to over worry and this worry takes over if you don’t feel you are in control. You feel like once you do have control that the relief settles in. Such as driving a car…you relax once you are in the drivers seat but have such a hard time being the passenger. Which oddly enough, feels like a metaphor for your entire life.

Anxiety can come in so many different flavors. It can be that feeling where you don’t feel settled until you know ALL the plans before doing something. Anxiety can sneak up in the way you do your work, being the over-achiever to make sure everyone is happy and that god forbid, no one is ever mad at you. Anxiety can feel like a psychic power in certain ways. Like, you have the ability to read everyone’s emotions around you and you are constantly picking up physical body cues to make sure everyone around you is acting “normal” and once again, not mad at you. It is that feeling of making sure everyone feels good so that you feel good.

Confrontation can feel like the devil swooped in and is making you do the worst possible fucking thing in the world. You would rather die than having to confront someone or being confronted. Anxiety makes it hard for you make a lot of new friends because you would rather be alone and be in your own happy bubble than having to deal with someone’s else’s behaviors and always in a mental battle over figuring out if this new person likes you or not 🫠

You can never seem to find relief or rather it swoops in for a short period only to leave again and there you go searching for that deep exhale grounding feeling. One of the only things you want in life is to feel grounded, you envy people who are so chill. You envy people who are so easy going and able to tolerate things you have a hard time tolerating. You look at the people around you and you question yourself, why are they… so normal….? and why am I …. not? Why does it seem like everyone around me has such an easy time with life and here I am having to sneak away to the bathroom just to re-center myself?

You think that if you were just prescribed some Xanax or anxiety medication that all your issues would be solved. But then you worry about that… You worry you would just become addicted and co-dependent on these demon pills…But damn…wouldn’t it just make sooo much easier…? *insert mind-spiral*. So then you sit there feeling like this puzzle piece that doesn’t fit into any fucking puzzle.

If you’re new here, Hi I am Sammi, your next new favorite form of anxiety relief 💊. I am here to soothe, soothe, + soothe. Beware: you may become addicted 🤓 I have made it my life’s mission to figure out the energy behind the emotion of anxiety and to un-do it through manifestation + understanding the law of attraction. I myself have struggled with chronic + crippling anxiety, panic attacks, and being an intense over-worrriiierrrr + over-thinker 4ever. The kind of anxiety that had me…loving substances…physically harming myself…and sabotaging my entire life !!! The one emotion I am addicted to is relief 🤍. If you don’t struggle with anxiety you don’t understand how good relief actually feels. I am here to tell you WHY anxiety is actually your magical purpose in disguise and why it’s actually a blessing 🤩💖

Anxiety + Romantic Love

If you’re not new here, you know I talk a lot about spiritual women pairing excellently with normie men 🤝 And if you are new here…I have been cheerleading on normie men for many years now.

Allow me to explain why:

MOST people who find spirituality also come from BIG T trauma. Not all…but most. And guess what BIG T trauma produces? Anxiety. So…a lot of people who are into spirituality tend to also be anxious. Spirituality feels like this secret club, a club that has all the answers for you, a club where you are automatically accepted and honored for your weirdness, and a club where you find your identity. You finally feel like you understand the Universe in ways you never understood before. Spirituality brings in seekers. You aren’t really a seeker if you don’t have a reason to seek. People who did not grow up in a lot of trauma usually are not attracted to Spirituality because they don’t really have a reason to. Spirituality is definitely more main stream now so now you will find a lot more “normal” people coming into it to expand + grow - especially entrepreneurs. Spirituality is really is the next level of personal development and lot of personal development junkies are also attracted to Spirituality. I do believe the original people who were attracted to Spirituality before Spirituality became really popular mostly came from a lot of trauma (so they tend to have a shit ton of anxiety or other personality “disorders”).

I understand anxiety in a lot more ways that others do not and I do have a really different take on it all. I will explain it more in-depth but I want to explain first that I believe spiritual women pair excellently with normie men because a normie man usualllllly doesn’t come from too much trauma. Once again, obviously not all normie men, but that should go without saying. If you know anything about anxiety, you know that be-friending or coming into a relationship with someone else who has anxiety makes your anxiety worse. Anxiety feeds on…Anxiety. It makes sense, it really is the Law of Attraction at work here….You know that in those beginning stages of anxiety if you keep focusing on that feeling of anxiety, it grows, and then the panic hits, and then you freeze and become crippled in time.

So when you are friends or fall into a romantic relationship with someone who also has anxiety….☠️ It’s awful to say the least. Sometimes it’s sneaky because a LOT of the time anxious people are also intellectuals so you’re sorta being tricked into thinking that this other person is really stimulating and you love having these deep conversations. Then all of the sudden you are stuck in anxiety for days and don’t really understand why. Honestly, if you struggle with anxiety you have to be careful on WHO you go deep with. It’s a recipe for disaster when you are going deep with everyone you meet. Not everyone you meet you’re meant to go deep with. When you put a cap on this you will notice your health + well-being expanding and your anxiety dissipating. I teach the clients I work with to use people for different parts of your life. Some friends you’re meant to be silly with, some friends you’re meant to go deep with, some friends you’re meant to work out with, and so on. Once you stop expecting everything from 1 person you will feel much more at ease (especiallllly with your romantic partner).

Anxiety IS a physical feeling but Anxiety is first birthed in the mind. When you are TOO MUCH in your mind…it breeds anxiety! If you think about The Law of Attraction, what you focus on, grows 🌀. If you have not yet discovered the voice of your Inner Being then I can guarantee you down-ward spiral maybe every single day. So if you HAVE discovered the voice of your Inner Being you will find it easier to be friends with a plethora of people. The thing is though, being too much in your own mind for anyone is not healthy. So when anxious people befriend a bunch of intellectuals it can have you spiraling…a LOT.

How to ONLY listen to your Inner Being

With Normie Men ~ who are healthy ~… (not talking about toxic losers - again this should go without saying)….you will find the biggest soothing feeling EVER….BUT ONLY IF YOU ACTUALLY ALLOW IT AND TRUST IT. Your Normie Man can literally be your relief PILL 💊. Although, you have to be really careful because an Anxious Girlie can easily become dependent on this feeling. A lot of the time these Normie Men can actually heal the Anxious Girlie. Not that it’s their duty to heal you but love does heal in general. You will heal him in new ways too! When you are in a romantic relationship with a chill healthy Normie Man it’s one of the best things for you as a Spiritual + Intellectual Girlie . To date a man who doesn’t live in their mind….it’s literally heaven. When you do date a man who tells you to just “calm down” is actually a blessing. The duty of the Anxious Girlie though is to TRUST her simple Normie Man. If the Anxious Girlie doesn’t trust then it will back fire. When you are feeling anxious and your man just tells you “to stop being anxious” listen to him! I understand that this can feel way too simplistic for the Intellectual Spiritual Anxious Girlie and it can piss you off in certain ways…BUT if you actually trust and listen to him when he does tell you these overly-simplistic sentences it can bring you out of your anxiety and back into your body. Anxiety Girls NEED simple energy to bring them back into their body.

Think about it this way:

You have anxiety.

You date someone who tends to lean more spiritual + intellectual.

I can bet that this more spiritual + intellectual man will want to get to the root of the issue with you. He will have you process, process, and process. Maybe he brings up couple’s counseling. Maybe he wants to help you heal “this issue”.

OR

You have anxiety.

You date a simple Normie Man.

Your Normie Man doesn’t even see your anxiety as an issue. Sure, he knows you tend to worry too much and be anxious a lot but he isn’t viewing it as this disease that needs to be healed. He just loves you for you 🤷‍♀️ he can think you’re a little frantic but it ain’t the end of the world! Sometimes he even thinks it’s cute lol.

When you understand The Law of Attraction you understand that what this Universal Law means is that the things you place your focus on grows. So when you keep talking about your anxiety and how anxious you are and how much of an issue it is…It becomes an even bigger issue. Sometimes to heal anxiety you just have to stop identifying with it all together and not view it as a big deal. You’re anxious? So what! When you bring in a simple understanding and not make your anxiety a big deal, it removes the intense charge from anxiety all together.

This is WHY your simple Normie Man can be the biggest blessing for my Intellectual + Spiritual Girlies who tend to be a little frantic.

If you can adopt: BOYS R FOR FUN 🎠 GO DEEP WITH YOUR ART 🎨

You will THRIVEEEE 🌈 and create way more happiness + success in your own life. ANNNNNNNNND your relationship will naturally deepen in a way that WON’T bring you too much into your mind. Don’t force depth with any man! Trust he willlll go deep as you go DEEPER with your creative projects. It’s the Law of Attraction. What you focus on grows (but the key is never focusing in on the *lack* so when you focus on going deep with your man it’s because you’re attuned to lack - you think you need to go deeper - and the Law of Attraction hates the energy of *need* it does the opposite of what you want). So if you remove the focus from him and channel that depth into your art….You’ll go deep in a happy + feel good way. Not deep in this over-analyzing forced way where it will backfire. The hard part of this is…you’re not going deep with your art BECAUSE you want to go deep with your man. You have to remove him out of this equation all together. Just use him for fun 🤩 Be simple + be in your body with him ❤️‍🔥 And trust your only job is to feel good and deepen your art. Trust that when you just focus on pouring into your own cup, getting yourself to feel good on your own, and going deep with your own art DAILLLY that your anxiety will actually heal itself and that more depth will be created in your romantic relationship as a natural by-product.

So here is my take: Anxiety is not a disorder. It’s a gift that you haven’t quite fully unlocked yet 🔐

You don’t have an anxiety disorder. You’re a creative genius that just hasn’t quite claimed this inner knowing yet.

Which brings me to my famous saying….you’re not insecure, you’re bored 🌬️💕🪞 (my IG bio that I will probably never change).

The only reason you are anxious is because you are not spending enough time with your art 🎨. If you were born with the blessing of anxiety you literally came here to be a creative genius. DUH! Hello!!!!

Trust me, when you find the art form you are OBSESSED with and you spend most of your time deepening it…your anxiety naturally relieves itself and all the relationships around you bloom naturally 🌱 (yes even your relationship to your crazy toxic family).

If you can really train yourself to worry less about “him” and channel that feeling of worry + alchemize it via your creative energy…You will WIN at life. You will become extremely successful in whatever avenue you choose to pour your creative energy into. If you can stay practicing this and spending time with your creative energy daily…you will be the most magical bitch walking around town 💅🏻

I promise you, you didn’t come here to struggle with anxiety. You came here to claim your crown as a creative masterpiece and you just haven’t claimed this inner knowing yet!!!!

Think about Jealousy ~ Jealousy isn’t even what you think it is. Jealousy only comes up when you have LACK of belief in self. Jealousy simply shows you what your NEW desires are in life. When Jealousy is triggered it’s because you’re not believing that you can have the same thing that the feeling of Jealousy is triggered around. The feeling of Jealousy goes away when you name + claim (create the belief) that you get to have the *thing* you are Jealous over, too.

I am here to “de-bunk” anxiety (and jealousy) to help you alchemize your life into the most magical aTristin experience 🌈.

My role in your life? 👀

Here’s my dilemma.

I wrote my book, “Creative Love”, in 2022. It’s on this EXACT article but WAY more in-depth (80k words so far?) It’s been a mind fuck. I go in + out of the energy and it’s really been an interpersonal experience with it all. It’s been sitting in the drafts for way too long.

If you notice I have a section in Miracle Zone titled “Creative Love” and I had anotherrrrr substack publication called “Creative Love” that I took down. I go in and out of writing about it and sharing this wisdom. Some of the articles posted that are available for you to see under the Creative Love tab on this publication will be a part of my book 📖

Romantic Love + Creative Energy are my favorite things to talk about. I obviously come in with an energetic + law of attraction lens 🔎 with it all as well.

SO HERE WE ARE ! Me gettting BACK into this energy (using the Law of Attraction ~ what I focus on GROWSSS 🌀).

Which is bringing me to release my 2nd membership space!!!!!!

❤️‍🔥 !! AY YI YI !! ❤️‍🔥

You may know I have my 1 membership, UPWARD SPiRAL which really encompasses…EVERY-THING. It’s my manifestation membership for princesses who want it alllll 🍭 literally the funnest offer I have ever put out in my 10 years of being online. It’s my bread + butttttta. I want to keep it going foreverrrr lol.

BUUUUT ANNNNND this second membership is going to be PURELY romantic love focused 4 anxious girlies 🍒 because I am literally OBBBBSESSSED with talking about romantic love and helping women with their love life. I am really good I promise (; 😁😁

I desperately want to help YOU un-fuck from anxious attachment, find your creative genius, and as a natural by-product heal your romantic love lifeeeee (whether you are single OR in a relationship!)

I am kinda doing this for selfish reasons 🤷‍♀️ I am bringing myself back into this energy so I complete my dream of finishing dream book ! 📕 no shame! lol!

and like I said, I just am obsessed with guiding others in this exact energy as well so it made sense to open up a second membership doing thiiiiiis 🤩 A WIN WIN BABBBYYY

So here are SOME deets that I know and do not know:

1. I had a name for this membership and now I don’t like the name so now I am trying to figure out a new name 😹

2. I am being indecisive about the exact parameters of this membership

3. It’s on Telegram (favorite space evvvver)

4. It’s a monthly subscription! So it will go until I feel like it lol.

5. It’s going to be a broadcast channel - so SAMMi ONLY downloads + teachings buuuut you do get a chance to ask me 1:1 questions

6. It’s going to be a 1-800-ASK-SAMMi vibe 🔮 so you’ll have the chance to email me a question and I will answer in this broadcast channel for everyone to see but you will be anonymous (I’ll give you a number to find your response).

7. I’ll be announcing days to do that ⬆️

Not all the pieces are QUITE figured out (just yet) but I will demand the clarity this week 😹 so if you do want to join this sort of mystery offer….

You can join it at a discounted price before I officially announce it 🤩

Nothing is posted in the channel (yet) but I plan to be filling it up with the goods….SOON!

So if you’re OK with this sorta imperfection messy vibe while I get my shit together but you’re obsessed with this vibe of un-fucking your anxious attachment and using your art to go deep with….

COME ON IN 🤩

It’s going to be $33 / month if you join now (until I officially announce it and make the sales page and fill in the pieces). The price WILL be raising…maybe next week? Idk.

(don’t buy if you’re in UPWARD SPiRAL - check out the announcement tab if you’re already inside UPWARD SPiRAL - and yes if you want IN - UPWARD SPiRAL this new membership is included 😁)

???? (:

UPWARD SPiRAL

In love + UPWARD SPiRALLLLSSS,

SAMMi

🍰🫧💖

What IS the energy behind the feeling of love?:

Warmth. Wholeness. Harmony. Belly Laughs. Silliness. Prosperity.

What is a PRiNCESS’s 🍰🫧🍦 duty when it comes to romantic love?

Being addicted to her own creative energy 🌈

Taking on the title of a full time artist 💖

Self care as a full time job 💄

Knowing that boys are for fun 🤹 and she’s here to go deep with her art 🎨

Being comfy + cozy all day ~ not doing jack squat she does not want to do !!

The more you lean into being a 💕👑 PRiNCESS 👑💕 the more you attract a 💸 PROViDING 💸 energy ⚡️ so you attract the Universe fully providing for you or it comes through in the form of a man 🧍‍♂️ or it comes through the form of a trust fund 💰 or it comes through your parents 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 or it comes through another form…where it FEELS like you’re getting paid to simply be yourself 💅🏻 and the highest top tier of really embodying the PRiNCESS 👑 means the ultimate top tier providing…which is getting paid from your art + creative energy 🎨 ~ which circles back into: getting paid to what feels like be yourself (:

Today INSIDE: 🌀 UPWARD SPiRAL 🌀 I am teaching my PRiNCESS 👑 clients how to ACCELERATE love to them 🍒

Think:

❤️‍🔥 Manifesting a hot provider zaddy

❤️‍🔥 Accelerating your knight in shinning armor who feels like his soul purpose is to protect your sensitive nature

❤️‍🔥 Invoking the HONEY MOON 🍯🌝 phase with your current sweetie

❤️‍🔥 Magnetizing love in ALL forms 🧲

We will really be clearing:

❤️‍🔥 Micro-managing tendencies

❤️‍🔥 Control

❤️‍🔥 Insecurity

To get access to: HOT LOVE HUB 🍒 you have to join UPWARD SPiRAL by: October 8th

Once you join UPWARD SPiRAL you’ll also get access to PAYDAY PALACE 🏰 annnnnd SUBSTACK SALON ⭐️

Here’s the kicker though:

If you join after October 8th you will not have access to HOT LOVE HUB.

HOT LOVE HUB is exclusive to the members who are signed up for UPWARD SPiRAL by midnight EST October 8th.

UPWARD SPiRAL

The teachings for HOT LOVE HUB 🍒 take place on: 10.7 + 10.8 + 10.9 and then you get 10.10 for a Q+A with me. Also there is a chat room to talk amongst yourselves during this week!!!

If you join by 10.8 but can’t make the teachings live they will be there for you to engage with at your own pace!!! a lot of the girls do that, they listen at later dates 💖

UPWARD SPiRAL is for PRiNCESSES who want it ALLlllllLLLL 🍭

It’s a HIGHLY stimulating group 🎠

The group chats are ALWAYS popping off

I am consistently dropping downloads + trainings.

There is a fun pop up once a month (like payday palace, substack salon, and now hot love hub) that you get free access to.

I created this group to escape reality 🫧

nobody vents…nobody talks politics or news…

This group is to PURELY be delusional 🌈 have FUN 🍦 and manifest consistently and not only that but I teach you how to GROW and speed up the process so the manifestations get bigger + bigger 🌀

Some of the girls are claiming their crown 👑 as a FULL TIME artist and making good money 💰

Some of the girls are claiming their crown 👑 as having the best romantic relationship ever (:

Some of the girls are claiming their crown 👑 as embodying a full time writer and getting paid from their writing!

Everyone is an Artist inside 💕

I also drop SPECIFIC manifestation formulas 👾 Like what to do if you’re in a VO!D or what to do when you are downward spiraling… or what to do to speed up the manifestations 💖

There is also a specific section for: online creator teachings AND an Internet cafe to talk about the teachings for online creators.

On top of having a section for UPWARD SPiRAL teachings + then a general chat room to talk about the teachings in that section.

We also have a Q+A day (1:1 with me) coming up on 10.20 AND 10.21. This is a space to ask questions and receive tailored advice (I give voice memos back that are around 8min to 20 min for each person!)

I can’t promise any specific manifestations for you but I CAN promise this space is fun as fuck and you probably have never been in something like it ;)

There is a 3 month commitment because we are commmmmittted INTENSLLLLY to the upward spiral 🌀 duhhhh :D

Come on in + activate your riches 🤩

Also I just wanted to add that the CELEBRATIONS 🥂 is the most highly engaged chat room 🤩 annnnd it’s my clients favorite thread in the group! just think: constant excitement !!!

In HOT LOVE + UPWARD SPIRALLLLLS 🌀

SAMMi

🍰🫧

**On 10.7, 10.8, 10.9, + 10.10 I am hosting a live training allllll on LOVE ❤️. It’s called HOT LOVE HUB 🍒 The entire week will be devoted to manifesting + accelerating love to you. Whether you are single and in search of your knight or you’re in a committed relationship excited to enhance your love life ❤️‍🔥**

THIS IS A UPWARD SPIRAL EXCLUSIVE 💅🏻

To come to this week you have to be a member of Upward Spiral.

UPWARD SPiRAL

Not everyone is meant to have the same love life. There is this vibe online specifically in the spiritual or conscious communities that you must find your Divine King and enter your Divine Union.

🙄

The only thing these teachings are doing for so many is really fucking up their perceptions on romantic love and what a relationship should look like.

I honestly feel like most dating advice I do see online really does mess with your head and taints your romantic relationship.

Personal Development is great. It is. You cannot deny that.

It’s when you are taught how to live your life is when the teachings get wonky.

The conscious living + hyper spiritual communities tend to take their romantic relationships SO SERIOUS. These are the same communities that tend to either teach what a Divine Union is or seek out that information. A lot of women’s and men’s groups that teach conscious coupling are constantly un-doing trauma, processing, talking about how to deepen their love, or how to crack open their heart. Their teachings are always about how you can go deeper or how you can expand your heart even more or how you can release all your child hood trauma.

In context it sounds like a good idea.

In reality I fear I have witnessed the most awful relationships engaging in these teachings but they trick their audience because the language they use is wrapped up in enlightenment + therapy speak. There is something about these people who teach conscious coupling + divine union-ship that makes you believe your relationship needs to look like theirs.

Ok so what happens when you consume relationship content, specifically the Sacred Union or Divine Union angle 📐

I want to explain that everyone here is meant to have a unique love life. There are so many different flavors of romantic love. And just because you love strawberry ice cream doesn’t mean that mint + chip is wrong. You all have individual tastes + preferences. So I do understand that these Sacred + Divine Union couples are their own flavor. Maybe black licorice. Only a selected few are meant to embody this.

(this is besides the point if you actually enjoy black licorice)

I want to highlight I actually DO believe in polarity teachings ☯️. The minute I grasped polarity in a deeper way, the INSTANT my relationship actually grew deeper + more connected.

I do believe polarity teachings can enhance relationships that have a feminine person + masculine person and when the feminine leans into her feminine, it allows the masculine to become more masculine and it does create a beautiful harmonic dance. 💃

This isn’t even about being a girly girl or wearing satin lingerie…

It’s about energy.

I believe in energy, duh. My entire substack publication is about…energy.

I can see clearly (and have seen evidence many times) that only ONE person needs to practice and it can shift the entirety of the relationship as a whole.

That’s why all my Creative Love 💒 section here on Substack is geared towards feminine hearts. I do tell women “what to do” when it comes to a relationship. Many would say that the woman should not have to carry all the labor and that men need to rise up and do the work, too.

BUT …

It’s the chicken or egg concept. Which came first? It doesn’t matter.

It is my belief that the feminine parter actually leads in the energetics + emotions. Meaning, the way the feminine partner feels affects the relationship dynamic as a whole. BECAUSE the masculine is here to serve.

“Happy Wife Happy Life” l o l.

It’s true though.

A spiritual woman + a normie man = a match made in heaven 🌈

Why? Because if the woman is already spiritual then it’s more so about refining your point of focus. You’re already “doing the work”…like you came to Earth to “do the work” lol. It’s already engrained into you.

So it makes it simple.

If you let go of the concept of *needing your man to grow* he will grow.

Also you need to stop expecting your man to grow how you grow. He is not meant to. He came here to create his own path separate from yours. His growth is meant to look way different. The minute you try an *teach him* is the minute you move into your masculine nature which causes him to be feminine. Try it out 😹 It’s not even a factor if I believe in this or not. I see it ALL THE TIME. It’s really crazy when you become SO AWARE of energy you see how everything stems from your internal feelings. It’s almost annoying. Actually it is annoying. It forces you to be on top of your game.

Here me out:

So when you try and get your man to learn the same things as you, the polarity sorta gets mushy. You’ll notice your sex life…getting….meh. Instead of that hot heated fuck….it turns into mush and a limp dick.

Why Divine Union teachings fuck you up:

🍒 I believe deeply in being your authentic self.

When you are expressing your TRUE self at all times, you are not acting *enlightened*. Acting that way is not your true self. It’s a learned personality trait. When you try to be enlightened…it makes you ride a high horse whether you realize this or not.

There is a difference in growing naturally….and taking on an entire new persona + personality. I am all for a good re-brand. But I believe if someone does go through a personality over-haul they need to be coming just deeper into their self. Not actually taking on an entire new identity that is outside of them.

🍒 These Divine or Sacred Union teachings make you compare.

Whether you realize it or not…these couples will always seem better than you on Instagram. These couples TEACH couples how to be in a relationship. Which removes you from your own agency + natural growth as a couple.

I really DO NOT believe we came here to learn how to be in a romantic relationship???? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t!

There is a difference in engaging with personal development as a means to heal some parts of you. I do believe growth should always be singularly focused and naturally your relationship WILL grow with you. This isn’t something you try and control through.

🍒 You’re meant to have a UNIQUE love life.

Maybe you are a couple that does bicker a lot but underneath it is 2 big goofy hearts just having fun in life and adoring each other.

Maybe you are meant to literally just be having fun with your man versus needing him to be deep all the time with you…

Imagine if you devoted your depth to your art + girlfriends and then your man was there to increase pleasure + fun?

Or maybe your man is actually super deep + intellectual but you are meant to be riding more on the surface and you do hold more masculine traits!

I do believe it comes down to trusting what you are attracted to + who you are naturally. I believe a *true* love is someone you feel comfortable being the entirety of your true self in front of. You don’t feel judged by them even if they playfully tease you from time to time.

🍒 When you are constantly trying to learn how to be in a romantic relationship…it fucks up everything

Your sex life becomes meh…

You start to reach…

Which means, you are always under the impression that your love life should be more…or that you should be growing more…or that you should be connecting more…or that you should be going deeper more….

It takes you OUT of appreciation.

And being able to FEEL genuine appreciation for your love life is the magic key to all good things 🪄✨

🍒 Think about it this way: when you are trying to *learn* from these people who teach divine or sacred unions you are already under the impression your man or relationship needs to change.

Because why else would you be seeking out this type of content?

To enhance your love life? Ok sure. But you can do this through understanding The Law of Attraction alone.

If you are in a long term relationship I am sure you have noticed that when you try and change your man, or teach him something, or try to get your relationship to grow…it doesn’t work. If anything it does the opposite.

If you understand energy, you understand that there is no Law of Force. You can’t change the Law of Attraction or bypass it. The Law of Attraction is working 24/7 x ♾️ in ALL areas of your life.

⬇️

🍒 If you can grasp + understand The Law of Attraction that’s all you need to enhance your romantic relationship.

What you focus on, grows.

So if you are focused on needing to change your relationship…the dominant energy here is *need* and being needy pushes your desires away.

The Law of Attraction works on internal feelings.

The Law of Attraction does not know what you want or do not want. That is your Inner Being’s job. The Law of Attraction just brings you more of what you are internally feeling. It’s simple.

➡️ So if you areeeee looking to ENHANCE your relationship…

⬇️

🍒 You focus on RADICAL ACCEPTANCE ⭐️

Which is purely an inside job.

What this means is, you accept + trust yourself so fucking deep that you place your trust into someone else. You can’t do this backwards. You can’t trust someone else without trusting yourself first.

So,

1. You FULLY accept yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly. You don’t try and bypass your shadows. You know you have bad sides to you but you accept it.

2. This leads to self trust. You know all your sides without shame. If you hold shame over certain traits of yourself your relationship will suffer.

3. So now because you have done the internal job of these 2 things…You have ROOM to radically accept your partner. You accept the good, the bad, and the ugly.

4. So now because you accept him, you trust him.

You’ll notice the more you feel self critical or hold shame over yourself it leaks into him. When you are self critical, you will be critical of your relationship + him. When you hold shame over yourself you start to shame him. (Law of Attraction).

Having Shame leads to breakups + fights + disharmony

How to create MAGiC 🪄 in your romantic relationship:

💒 The Magic lives in you focusing on your growth + your growth only.

There is an art to this. You can’t focus on you growing and him not…You have to FULLY trust in energetics…you know that when you grow, the people around you come to meet you as well. You know that when you grow, your relationship grows as a natural byproduct. OR you are so focused on yourself that it doesn’t even matter what the people are doing around you because you are focused on self so you actually become less bothered as a whole.

💒 The Magic lives in appreciation mode.

Which circles back to…radical acceptance.

You accept yourself so deeply that it mirrors back to you in how you view others.

You have to understand that you do not have to LIKE all their parts. You just have to accept them.

How do you know if you are not fully accepting your man?

You criticize. And usually (always) this stems back to you being self critical.

So let’s go back to the saying…. “Happy Wife, Happy Life”

⬇️

💒 As the feminine partner, your only job is to feel good

When you are consuming relationship content it means you are not feeling good in your relationship! be honest with yourself! why else would you be seeking out that type of information?

because look, if you were in full on appreciation + acceptance mode there would not even be a nudge to do that what so ever.

When you take your job of FEELING GOOD seriously….EVERYTHING CHANGES FOR THE BETTER 🌈

💒 When you put yourself first…when you only focus on filling up your own cup….

The Law of Attraction abides in your favor and creates your Upward Spiral 🌀

Remember, you are not manifesting what you want or do not want. You manifest your internal feelings. If you are feeling *off* in your relationship then more *off* feelings come to match it and give you more evidence to feel *off*

Anxious or Avoidant Attachment in Romantic Love.

This is purely coming from an energetic lens

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is neediness.

Anxiety comes up when you are unable to self soothe. So you are looking for outside things to feel internally soothed.

From an energetic lens what does neediness do?

It pushes your desires away from you.

Usually the energy that happens in a romantic relationship when one person is anxious and depends on their partner for soothing is the other partner grows frustrated and it is a general turn off.

There is a difference energetic taste between: yearning + neediness.

Yearning is coming from a secure place.

Neediness is coming from an insecure place.

What is avoidance?

Avoidance is fear.

Avoidance comes up when you are afraid of vulnerability.

From an energetic lens what does fear do?

It pushes your desires away from you.

Usually the energy that happens in a romantic relationship when one person is avoidant and is fearing the emotion of their partner…it makes the partner bring you even more emotion but it’s frantic + anxious energy (lose/lose)

The desire of an anxious or avoidant person is usually the same…

They want that internal security.

Both of these types want internal soothing + a promise of security in the partnership.

These desires come out in different shadows ~ neediness or fear.

But at the bottom of it…it’s really the same thing.

You don’t need Divine Union teachings or conscious coupling experts to help you.

You just need to let the fuck go of control.

The only thing you can control 100% in this life is where you place your mental focus.

That is IT.

When I say 100% ~ control your focus point is the only form of control you will have 100%.

For example, yes you can control something like your daily schedule but even your daily schedule is affected from outside things. You don’t actually have 100% control of that.

Or yes you are in control when you are driving a car but you are never in 100% control of ANYTHING else besides what you choose to think about.

Don’t let anyone else tell you different.

You have FULL 100% CONTROL over your focus point.

You’re actually never too deep into anything.

You don’t have to un-do jack squat.

You can start your upward spiral 🌀 this moment.

You don’t allow other people to tell you what you should be angry or bothered about. If you are not bothered by something, don’t fix what is not broken.

Yes if you genuinely feel bothered, express yourself without projection.

This doesn’t mean you hide your emotions either.

Others are so easily persuaded from the things they consume. You are taught from media HOW to feel. And yes, empathy is weaponized against the population because feeling bad for everything you see takes you out of your internal power. I talked about this on yesterday’s article: HOW to ONLY Listen to your Inner Being.

Read Here

Point being, yes learn from others. Engage in your own growth…But stop giving others power to decide how YOU feel about something. Don’t allow someone to influence your emotions. That is weak behavior! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! If you are feeling so good about something….then you read something online….and you stop feeling good about the thing you were feeling good about….. FUCK THAT NOISE! Stop doing that shit! And also gain awareness for when you are doing that.

I see it allllll the time in romantic relationships…2 people feelings so good about their connection….then your mom says something and it gets in your head….or you consume relationship content and now feel like there ARE red flags happening… honestly if you are feeling good about something that is ALL that matters. Stop leaking your power.

If you continue to TRUST in yourself knowing that you are ALWAYS being guided into your desires + win/wins…if someone actually is not for you…they will naturally drift away. You don’t need to do any work to figure this out. Stay focused on appreciation. Stay focused on feeling good. Stay focused on your larger visions without feeling insecure that these visions aren’t reality yet.

And

If you are someone who struggles with anxiety…

If you are not connected to your creative power…

You will ruin the relationships around you.

I say this with such deep love….

People who are anxious tend to be sensitives. And sensitives came here to be artists is the ENTIRE REASON they were born a sensitive!!!!!!

On Sensitives + Art

For Sensitives + Empaths

How to have a successful feel good romantic relationship:

🍒 Understand and use the Law of Attraction for its upward spiral mechanics

(versus allowing the downward spiral).

which honestly…just go through my entire publication if you really want to learn about energy in-depth

Subscribe now

🍒 Make art everyday

🍒 INTENTIONALLY + ACTIVELY pour into your cup….constantly.

AND

if you are wanting a supportive community, in real time downloads, teachings, trainings, tools + endless journal prompts….

come join Upward Spiral. It’s to help you stay consistent in your UPward spiralssss

**On 10.7, 10.8, 10.9, + 10.10 I am hosting a live training allllll on LOVE ❤️. It’s called HOT LOVE HUB 🍒 The entire week will be devoted to manifesting + accelerating love to you. Whether you are single and in search of your knight or you’re in a committed relationship excited to enhance your love life ❤️‍🔥**

THIS IS A UPWARD SPIRAL EXCLUSIVE 💅🏻

To come to this week you have to be a member of Upward Spiral.

In hot love + upward spirallllllsss,

SAMMi

💒🫧🍰

I believe if you sacrifice a core desire it will lead into deep resentment, anger, depression, anxiety, and breaking up/divorce if you are in a relationship.

If you want your romantic relationship to thrive you have to trust yourself + validate yourself constantly + consistently.

I stress incredibly hard to my clients that you NEED TO KNOW YOUR DESIRES on a very specific + intimate level. If you do not have clarity on your desires ~ you will create a life you hate. If you do not seek clarity you will be filled with anxiety, panic, resentment, anger, and so on….

If you are not clear around your desires you will take random action that is not going to create your upward spiral.

For Example:

Sharon + Alex are married. Alex has a very strong desire to be a football coach. It’s his world. He is obsessed with football and he LOVES coaching teens. It’s rewarding, fun, and he feels in purpose. Sharon doesn’t like this because Alex is gone way too much. Sharon tells Alex he can’t be a football coach anymore because it’s too demanding and she misses him. So Alex SACRIFICES his desire to make his relationship work (the relationship is another desires). Alex gets a different job. Alex is depressed. Their relationship is not what it should be, lots of fights, and just not feeling in harmony….Then because of this “lack” they decide to have a baby 😵‍💫 which is honestly a “bandaid baby”.

So Alex *thinks* he had to sacrifice one desire to honor the other desire.

THIS NEVER NEEDS TO HAPPEN. This is why trusting yourself is going to get you everything you want out of life.

ALL of your desires get to co-exist IF you trust in the energy beyond the logics.

This is where knowing energetics would come in handy:

If Sharon was energetically “attuned” she could TRUST that by Alex following his desire to be a football coach would actually bring them closer together. She should trust that if he follows this passion of his…that either more money will come in that allows them to spend more time together….or he will be moved to another team that opens up his work hours….and also it will MAKE Alex happy ~ therefore benefitting the relatinoship as a whole. THEN they can have a baby out of pure desire versus a bandaid to fix it all. OR maybe he does work a lot but then their time together is so intentional and filled with deep love and connection…

ORRRRR If Alex TRUSTED HIMSELF enough to keep his job and TRUST that it would bring their relationship into better harmony and more money and more connection…it also would have worked out. Despite her “bad moods” around it all. That is what it means to be emotionally sovereign. You create towards your desires despite someone’s “moods”.

But because Sharon did not trust Alex to follow his passion…And/or Alex didn’t trust himself enough to follow this desire…..this baby is a bandaid baby. and this baby will remind Alex of the dreams he gave up on. It’s literally a lose/lose. And also their baby does not deserve that. Creating a baby is like one of the most sacred things in life. You WANT to create a baby out of pure desire so you can enjoy parenthood to it’s fullest potential.

Being in a romantic relationship is a TRUE testament to practice your TRUST in the Universe and you practice this through trusting yourself SO much that you place all your trust as well into your partner.

And the thing is ~ if you trust yourself that energy is addictive and it gets your partner to trust you as well. It all feeds into each other. So if Alex didn’t listen to Sharon and REALLY trusted himself she would have ended up trusting him as well.

But overall there was a lack of trust. he didn’t trust self and she didn’t trust him to follow the desire.

Just ONE person in the relationship needs to trust themselves and then it will FEED the relationship as whole.

On a short side note:

I don’t believe surrender is good for us. You should be CONSCIOUSLY creating your reality at all times (knowing your desires, becoming more and more clear, and taking action from the clarity). THAT is what “being in alignment” means.

The surrender I believe in is getting clear as fuck around your desires, taking action that aligns with said desire, THEN surrendering and trusting you will continue to be guided down your desired path.

Annnnnnd STOPPPP asking the Universe “for signs” !!!!!!

The Universe will ALWAYS GIVE YOU SIGNS!

For example ~

If you are asking for a sign to break up with your boyfriend, you will get a sign to break up with your boyfriend.

If you are asking for a sign to stay with your boyfriend, you will get a sign to stay with your boyfriend.

(This is also lacking trust in yourself ~ trust is what is needed to create your dream reality + momentous upward spiral 🌀 ).

The Universe ALIGNS with every DECISION you make. That is why it’s Soo0o0o0o0o0 fucking important to know your desires so you KNOW what the fuck you are creating towards.

And that’s why “you can’t get it wrong” because again, The Universe will literally align with every decision you make.

But do you want to have fun and feel good?

Or do you want to be filled with anxiety + struggle?

You can honestly make any path work.

It’s just really about asking yourself what path feels most fun and most freeing! And what path lights you up! And then the hardest part for most people ~ TRUSTING yourself.

I had an abusive Ex (i have had multiple abusive exes lol)

But I wanted to break up naturally and in a really feel good type of way. I have wrote alllll about this experience….just filter through the Creative Love tab and it will be in there somewhere lol.

Any logical person would have told me to dump his ass and move on.

But I needed it to feel good, I needed it to end in peace, I needed it to be easy.

And this was my first real discovery of how powerful I am and my first real discovery around the law of attraction.

Anyways I manipulated energy enough to have the remaining of our relationship be the best it had ever been in our 4 years together. For 6 months, he was showing up in ways I had always been wanting. It was quite magical. Then one day I felt the impulse to break up with him. It was natural and swift. I cried for one day and then went to a festival the weekend after and moved the fuck on 💘

I did not need to “struggle my way” into this action. I aligned my desires, got happy as fuck on my own accord, and created a good experience with him. Then felt the guidance + impulse to leave so I did and it was easy. This was a result of getting to know my desires.

My point being ~ you get to have EVERYTHING you want in life. YOUR CORE DESIRES WILL NEVER CONTRADICT. It gets to be easy, it gets to be fun, and it always gets to benefit you. and your desires will ALWAYS be a win/win with those you do share a life with OR they will naturally shift out of your life WITH EASE.

I had a friend for years who was displaying genuine red flag after red flag. But we had a sort of trauma bond going on. We connected in some really deep ways and did share a good connection underneath the “red flags” ahaha. Anyways, I was “unclear” if I wanted her in my life. I had a contradictory voice in my head. One voice was saying I wanted her as a friend, and another voice was telling me to run for the fucking hills. The voice that was telling me to run was the voice that was filled with relief. BUt I wasn’t trusting myself enough to listen to the voice that gave me relief. So I sort of prolonged the relationship. Until I did have an “impulse” to ask her for space. And it ended horribly…. A very traumatizing experience to say the least.

What happened?

Well I wasn’t TRUSTING my desire ~ the desire that gave me that feeling of relief in my chest.

Contradiction of inner voices will lead you into chaos.

Because one voice is asking for 1 thing.

The other voice is asking for 1 thing.

So it makes you take action that makes your life messy as fuck and create a life that you do not want!

And again,

This is why I speak SO much on RELIEF. That it is your magical weapon. That if you TRUST the voice that gives you that feeling of relief…everything will always work out in the best case scenario.

If I had just made a CLEAR inner decision in my own mind to not be friends with her anymore, i can guarantee we would have just naturally shifted a part without all the drama and chaos.

I didn’t trust the relief voice so yeah it ended in drama.

There was another girl I met up with in person. We had all the same interests and were actually really aligned in sooo many ways… like we had the same values and again, into the same things. She was actually a really lovely person. Nothing “wrong”. But when I got home from this hangout I felt awful! I literally had anxiety. I thought it was so weird because she is lovely, we have the same values, we are into the same things in life…but yet it felt off? But because I was/am very in tune with myself + my emotions + energy….I trusted that this meant to not be friends with her. All logic would say ~ what the fuck? You’re being stupid. But I know now to trust myself. I listened to the inner voice that gave me relief ~ which told me to not pursue the friendship. That was the voice that made me feel soothed. So I just affirmed we would naturally drift and it didn’t need to be a big ordeal or anything. And yeah we literally never talked again 😹 I still think she is great and cool and all the good things. But we just never texted again after that hangout. I trusted myself and the voice that I felt soothed by and a natural parting happened. no drama, no bad feelings….

Desires + Romantic Relationship:

For the love of GOD !! Do not look to anyone else to define what type of life you want to live. Unless it has those glimmers of inspiration then it can be a clue that you are desiring a similar situation. OR jealousy!!! Jealousy is simply unclaimed desires.

When you couple up with someone…a lot happens!

You basically have to figure out if both of your core desires align.

Like do not continue on with someone if they want children and it’s a HARD NO for you.

You will create a life you HATE if you do this!

It’s different if you are undecided….I am talking about the STRONG no’s and STRONG yes’s.

Being in a romantic relationship IS the most spiritual experience in our human existence. It makes you HAVE to trust in the “beyond”. Like you have goooooot to trust yourself enough to place your trust in the other person and then trust enough that both of your desires will align.

(This is when to surrender in a way, but it’s AFTER you find clarity around what you want and don’t want).

It’s quite a mind fuck and can be really scary sometimes.

And honestly that is WHY so many people cannot “hold” a long term relationship.

That is why “breaking up” and single culture is so idolized…

People do not know how to trust themselves at the end of the day.

People do not really know their desires and are not consistently checking in at all times.

So these people who don’t even know themselves link up and all hell breaks loose.

Or…

You are so pent up and have an inflated ego that the minute your partner does something “you don’t like” you view this as an “ick” and run for the hills.

With wellness and “conscious living” culture….

It’s really fucked people up and now so many people do have inflated egos + being obsessed with “being the best version of self” and being obsessed with purity culture.

So then these ridiculous standards are created.

And now everyone is chronically single.

For me personally + my desire ….

I yearn for love 💕

I am obsessed with being in love with a hot man 💘

I am not ashamed for NOT wanting to be single and raw dogging life.

I am WILLING to accept the “bad sides” of my partner to create a life I am utterly obsessed with.

This does take CONSTANT energetic work + being a master of my emotions. Which I do feel mastered in.

I fully trust myself + I say that with full honestly. Because I have a strong trust in myself, I can place my trust in my partner, and I TRUST that both of our desires get to be met at all times with zero sacrifice.

It takes a lot to open up your nervous system to actually get yourself to believe in this and practice this.

it takes a lot for you to literally place your heart + well-being in someone else’s hands.

But if you don’t…..

You’ll end up like Sharon + Alex.

You will be “creating” from a place of lack building upon resentment.

When people say what it takes to beeee in a THRIVING long term relationship is TRUST ~ it’s the truth lol ~ it’s not just some fun little saying ~ but they key to doing this is trusting yourself first to even be able to trust your love.

What happened with my fiancé + I is that we fell into creating towards a desire that was not ours (conditioning of the “norm” of society).

We weren’t checking in and we were un-intentionally creating towards a life we didn’t even want.

and I am really happy we caught this.

I wrote a whole article on this. I forget what it’s called lol. I write so much it’s hard for me to remember when I said what.

Anyways,

We started to fall into the trap of settling down and planning for a baby.

it was just naturally happening…

Because we WERE NOT being intentional and checking in with both of our desires.

Long story short ~

Both of our energies started to get drained like actual life force energy was being zapped from both of us. I was a recluse hermit. We started not being in harmony…arguments and just struggle type of energy…we started to occur more debt and drain our bank accounts.

The pain got really bad.

Which made us wake up.

And then a friend asked me, “why don’t you guys just be nomadic again?”

And everything clicked for me ⛓️‍💥

Before I even brought up this “clicking” to my fiancé, he sat me down, and asked “what are we doing?” (it’s as if we were both connected and came into a clicking moment).

It felt like we were just going through the motions and not even checking in with our ❤️‍🔥 CORE DESIRES ❤️‍🔥

We kept creating towards “settling down + baby” but not even having conversations around this. Like we were just creating towards the norm of society without going deep with one another around all of this…

Anyways we had ONE conversation about what we wanted and realized we were creating towards a life we didn’t want.

Everything was solved.

Literally with ONE conversation.

Because we both checked in with our desires and realized we DO want the same thing it’s just that we weren’t creating towards the things we wanted.

And from that ONE conversation EVERYTHING shifted.

My money blew up.

I signed on 20 new clients.

We decided we are going to move in 2 weeks lol.

He got a new job that is going to pay him WAY more…

I have had MULTIPLE opportunities fly my way…

retreats, collaborations, all the good stuff…

We are back to our normal, goofy, silly, sweet selves…

Sex is has been….lets just say…chefs kiss LOL.

Our doggie has been sooo happy now? He was so grumpy for a couple months there falling into really intense licking fits… now he’s just not really itchy anymore and literally such a happy baby again?

We came back into our DESIRES of just wanting to party 🎉 to wanting to travel 🧳 to be silly gooses….creating a life to own multiple properties in multiple places… he goes off on guys hiking trips and I go off to party with the girls…traveling with friends as a couple. We had always done this ? This is how we were previously living our life and we were so in love, having so much fun, making great money. Then we stopped “checking in” with our desires….fell into the “conditioning of normal society” and then all the sudden we aren’t getting along like we used to? We both feel drained? Our dog is grumpy? Our debt is growing? Wtf lol.

This is what I mean when I say, energy can be sneaky.

It can be hard to see when you are in the middle of it.

But if you are downward spiraling I really think all that needs to happen is you RE-connecting or figuring out…YOUR DESIRES. And you don’t even have to do anything… it’s really just about that mind resonance and reminding yourself what you are creating towards.

And trusting that if you are meant to be with the person you are with ~ your desires will ALWAYS align and no one has to sacrifice. Or if a person (friend, lover) does not match your core desires in life they will naturally shift out of your life.

It really does not have to be hard.

And let’s say you’re reading this and feeling anxious because maybe you are realizing you have created a life you hate and like have no clue how you even got there…and you feel “too deep” in it…

I want to let you know that you are NOT too deep in it. You do not need to go in and figure out everything that went wrong. It does not need to be hard to un-do this and shift…trust me! Seriously!

I promise you I have felt too deep in my shit many many manyyyyy times and shifted very easily out of situations !!!

Even IF you have a baby and maybe didn’t want the baby but it happened….

You have to trust you can turn around your life now for the better in a very easy + feel good way.

That your only job is to seek clarity around what your desires are NOW. Not what you “wish” you “should” have followed…and 100% NOT FALLING INTO NOSTALGIA! Feeling nostalgic is a sure trap to get you downward spiraling.

If you have a baby now you have to accept it and re-adjust your desires ~ even if you went against your initial desire to get pregnant in the first place ~ trust that it’s all working out for you still (:

Just because we go against a desire and creating the opposite of the desire does not mean “it’s too late”.

You can always create bliss.

You can ALWAYS re-adjust!!!!

Like your desires aren’t these rock solid traits….

Your desires get to shift as you evolve as well.

It’s NEVER too late to create happiness + your upward spiral in this moment despite what has already been created.

Some things in life you just have to accept…like if you have a baby you just have to accept that. But the thing is, you can still connect to your desires. Maybe you hire a nanny so you can find yourself again. Or maybe your child becomes very close with your own mom, freeing up your time again. Like just because you do have children does not mean you have to dis-connect from your selfish desires. You have to trust you get everything in life. That you can still fulfill your desire to have a baby and that you can still fulfill your desire to have independence. Both can be honored. You don’t have to sacrifice your entire life for a child. If you believe in the invisible beyond…you get to get your desires filled. Just TRUST. Don’t try and figure it all out. Re-connect with your core desires and TRUST it gets to happen for you as well.

Really…all you need to do is

1. trust yourself

2. Validate EVERY decision you make.

3. Get clear and get to know your core 3 desires on a very intimate and specific level.

4. And stop falling into wondering how it’s all going to happen…this is the biggest piece that slows it all down.

Again,

If things are not going the way you want them to go in life I really only believe it’s because you are not clear. Use the things in life that you “don’t like” as evidence to create new experiences and call in the opposite 🌈

Or get inside, UPWARD SPiRAL. I specifically help my clients with exactly what I talked about in this article today. I have different processes, tools, teachings, and yes 1:1 guidance inside that will help you with all of this 💘 We have moms inside, we have 40 + 50yr olds inside, we have single 20 yr olds inside, we have online creators inside, we have babes who work a 9-5 inside…This space IS for you if you’re thinking about it (: And my group goes in-conjunction with my teachings here on my substack publication.

In relief + upward spirals 🌀.

SAMMi

🍰🫧💒

Something I have noticed in myself (and others) is that I feel annoyed when things aren’t going my way and that I actually have to put in energetic work to make it good again. Thoughts like, “ugh I shouldn’t have to meditate to feel better” or “ugh I shouldn’t have to put up boundaries to get what I want” or “ugh I shouldn’t have to use my tools to stay consistently feeling good! How annoying!”

And I believe those thoughts do come from a place of entitlement. That I basically shouldn’t have to work for things for life to feel good (lol).

And I notice this trend in society. It’s like these unachievable expectations to have the highest standards when it comes to love + friendships and to cut anyone and everyone off who doesn’t magically meet these standards.

Too many people lost the plot when they went on their self healing journey. They went from anxiously attached to avoidant.

You just want to spend time alone because no one can compare to you and your alone time…

Too many friends = too much drama…

Oh he doesn’t surprise you with flowers every weekend? Dump him!

God we have become so fucking insufferable.

I think “healing” has made us be so fucking self critical because it’s labeled as “shadow work”. And this self criticism is actually putting up major walls and makes you criticize others.

I swear the happiest couples I personally know aren’t even on a self healing journey. They are legit just living their lives and being messy without feeling all guilty about it.

The happiest couples I have noticed in my personal life EASY GOING! For real!!!!! Don’t you agree?

Maybe they do drink too much but they aren’t sitting in hangxiety the next morning… they are just lovin up on one another.

Maybe they don’t know themselves on a deep intimate level but then it’s like these are the couples I never see fighting…

maybe their partners says something stupid but they aren’t correcting them or even noticing it’s stupid.

I sometimes (kinda leaning into always now) believe that ignorance IS actually bliss.

The happiest I have been in my personal life is not when I am healing and doing work on myself. It’s when I am just living life and not reading too much into everything.

And I feel like the ability to be easy on yourself gives you room to be easy on others and accept people as they are because you accept yourself for who you are without trying to change every facet of yourself.

If you are someone who comes from a lot of trauma (like me) I do believe we are people who have to put in more *energetic* work than others. Not self healing and blah blah blah. I am talking about just simply using your tools so that you can be in that easy going place.

And I think it’s easy for people who come from trauma to cut anything off that *doesn’t feel good* because we somehow equate being uncomfortable to not being safe. So that is why a lot of people on this healing journey move from anxiety to avoidance because it’s *easier* to just cut things off versus energetically fixing things.

And again, I believe the one’s who come from a bit more trauma need to tending to our energetic garden on a daily basis so that we CAN be easy going and actually enjoy life and be in love with our person or accept love from others…

Like legit programming yourself to be optimistic and “best case scenario” oriented.

Actually mediating lol.

Re-writing stories that don’t feel good.

And most importantly, consistently self soothing….nothing is actually that serious??? And like not making yourself feel bad or weird or guilty ???

I SWEAR TO GODDDDD THE HAPPIEST COUPLES ARE NOT THE COUPLES THAT ARE CRITICIZING EACH OTHER. They are easy going!!! And it’s not about “pretending to be chill” and not speaking out when something is bothering you. But it’s like about genuinely not being bothered by life…letting things roll off your back…like you just genuinely cannot be bothered.

And if you DO feel like you are in that place of self criticism and criticizing your partner then you need to up your energetics game and SIMPLY FOCUS ON SELF SOOTHING. Like doing everything in your power to get yourself consistently feeling a physical sensation of relief in your BoDyyYyyy.

I think when people say “relationships take work” what it actually means is that it takes “work” to expand yourself into radical acceptance. You don’t have to *like* all the parts of your partner but you do have to *accept* all their parts or you will be living in a cyclical hell of feeling bothered all the time.

🗝️ Magical Keys to having a HAPPY FEEL GOOD RElATIONSHIP:

🗝️ BE EASY ON YOURSELF BABE. You crash out? Who gives a fuck? You drank too much? It’s fine. You said something stupid? move on. LIKE KEEP ON MOVING BABE! don’t get stuck in self analysis!!! i swearrrrr it’s draining the feel good juju from yourself + romantic relationship.

🗝️ Let go of the damn reigns. Allow life to be shitty without making a deeper meaning about it all. It’s OK to have bad chapters. Sit in the discomfort without making it mean anything more than that!

Dude we are in such a weird fucking time like world news is constantly being blasted into our dome, everyone is on social media giving opinions, advice, being fake half the time, or sharing beliefs + politics that should just be private. If you are a millennial we have been hearing constant propaganda around “the world is ending” 🙄 or how we are about to enter the worst political or financial climate etc. like according to the news, nothing has ever been good in our entire lives lol.

give yourself some grace for not feeling good right now. and also maybe unplug from news fully as well as take some REAL time off the damn apps.

🗝️ pick your battles (for real)… this statement is such a real statement from boomers and we need to listen to this one !!

just even in general. stop giving “your take” on someone else’s post 😒 move ON from something on social media if it doesn’t resonate with you!!! I think if we genuinely practice this more it’s good practice for real life situations.

do you really need to get annoyed at how your boyfriend did the dishes? is this something to have a discussion about?? such a waste of energy lol.

it’s not about ignoring things that deeply bother you. but it is about getting into a place where small things genuinely DON’T bother you. and I do believe you achieve getting into this *unbothered* state via energetics

(changing inner stories - meditation - visioning best outcomes - always hoping for the best - seeing the best in yourself and others - doing work to actually feel appreciation in your body)

🗝️ We are in this “truth era” where everyone thinks they are speaking “their truth” but the only REAL truth that exists is love. if it’s not love it’s not the truth. babe, some things are better left unsaid. we don’t need to have an opinion about everything. if you’re always picking fights or being critical it’s because you’re fucking bored and need to plug back in and pour into your own cup again.

I think some key takeaways here are just accept the damn love that is right here in front of you. Even from a fuck boy. Enjoy it while it lasts. Nothing is that serious. Like the Universe will move you into alignment…you don’t need to go searching for red flags or issues. Just enjoy whatever chapter you ARE in. Make the best out of any situation!!!!!

I feel like as a society we need to practice making the best out of everything and not just giving up. We are so quick to change a job if we hate it, to leave a relationship if it doesn’t feel good, to move if we don’t like our home…to get rid of a friend because she’s annoying…

We have got to make the best out of our current situation and the Universe will do the rest and the heavy lifting. Look, I will never tell ya to stay in something you genuinely hate but I do know the power of making the best out of ANY situation and things magically moving for you!!!!!

For example, you know you’re sleeping with a fuck boy and know he’s not the one but you enjoy the dick too much….just enjoy it for what it is. stop stressin man…like go fill up your roster as well and enjoy your single girl era. the universe will remove him in due time.

Or you hate your job…do your best to make the best out of it for now. play some inspiring podcasts on the way to work. try and be easy going while you ARE at work. make things to look forward to in your workday like getting a sweet treat on your break or making plans for when you get off…you’ll get a new job you love but you don’t need to stress yourself out trying to find that new job. it’s going to come once you change your energetics around.

Maybe you hate your house but stuck in a lease. clean your home!! re-decorate!! switch up the energy baby!!!! even if you are going to move out in a few months, don’t let that stop you from enjoying your home NOW.

YOU GUYS, ANY OF US CAN DIE TOMORROW. WHAT IS THE POINT FOR ALWAYS TRYING TO CHASE THE NEXT BEST THING? WHAT IS THE POINT FROM BEING ALONE ALL THE TIME? ENJOY WHAT EVER IT IS THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND BE EASY GOING.

IN MESSY LOVE,

SAMMI.

I DO believe when we seek out green flags, we see more green flags (:

I don’t believe you should lie to yourself and force a connection that is not for you.

Discernment is 100% needed between the lines of ~ energetically switching around a relationship to work in your favor AND making sure you’re doing the energetic work around someone that is actually for you.

I have talked in earlier articles that I do believe even if someone is NOT for you, it’s still ok to at least make it the best experience you can before you decide to call it quits.

(Not talking about abusive relationships, although I have a story around this but fear sharing it out of being called a victim blamer or actually influencing someone to stay in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to hold that type of responsibility so I won’t be sharing).

Sometimes we do have to shift things energetically to be a feel good experience until we are aligned in our own mind and actually feel ready to call it quits.

1. you CAN make the best out of any situation

2. Doing the energetic work will only give you more power. So if you are in a sticky situation, and trying to make the best out of it ~ and even if things are going “so good” ~ you will still gain the knowing to leave if it’s not actually for you.

Point being - doing the inner energetic work never leaves you astray. Even if you feel like you’re lying to yourself. If you keep going with the work you’ll move into alignment and be guided to leave any situation, person, job, or home that is not for you.

You can only lie to yourself for so long before you are guided out.

I do believe there is a difference in lying to yourself and NOT doing any energetic work.

And lying to yourself and doing the energetic work.

I will never condone lying to yourself, but sometimes it helps you cope before you actually gain that inner power to take action.

I know I can hold odd beliefs and opinions and you are free to never take my advice lol. I kind of just like hearing myself talk. If my work doesn’t feel good for you, it’s not for you (with love). You never need to take my word over your own! Trust how you feel! Xo

The energetic cheat code to get everything you want out of life is always the same formula:

💖 Consistently pour into your cup with things you genuinely LIKE to do.

💖 The ability to be Emotional Sovereign:

Meaning, you have power over your own emotions. You make yourself happy and find internal happiness annnnd protect it at all costs. Limit the things that make you angry or sad (news, opinions, criticism). be delusionally happy even if people call you selfish. duh that’s the point.

And no this does not mean to be a selfish asshole. It just means to put your own happiness first (with kindness and compassion).

💖 Program yourself to optimism

💖 Do more of your “basic” likes.

If you like to read, then read more.

If you like to go on walks, then go on more walks.

If you like to watch comedy, then watch more comedy.

If you love coffee, then go to more coffee shops.

If you love your dog, then play with your dog more.

(this goes with the first bullet point).

The key here is to not view these things as pointless, a waste of time, or stupid. Upward spiral minded people are taking action on the things they genuinely like to do.

💖 Connect with your desires on a daily basis.

Why do you want why do you want it? and make choices throughout your day that align with your desires/values.

💖 Robotic Affirmations.

Talk all the shit you want but honestly they work.

“A belief is just a thought you continue to think”

If you can choose 1 affirmation you repeat all throughout your day you will get the thing you’re affirming (but you also need to be engaging with the other things on this list).

Green Flags in Men (who hold the masculine energy).

And yes many men actually hold the feminine energy - but these men pair best with women who hold masculine energy.

None of it is better or worse, right or wrong.

But in my articles, I speak to feminine women seeking out/dating/or partnered up with a masculine man.

💚 He has a hobby that’s outside of drinking or the gym.

I do believe the gym is definitely a hobby but men also need friends! I think there is a difference in being so obsessed with the gym because of your ego and obsessed with the gym because it makes you happy and feel good.

There is also nothing wrong with men wanting to be + look strong and muscular. I don’t see anything wrong with going to the gym because you want to change your appearance.

But when his whole life is gym + macros and nothing else…then I would side eye lol.

💚 He’s NOT spiritual (lol)

♡♡♡♡ Spiritual women pair EXCELLENTLY with normie men ♡♡♡♡

As a spiritual woman, you lead the relationship spiritually + emotionally ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

How deep your relationship goes, is dependent on your personal depth.

How spiritual your relationship feels, is dependent on your own inner connection to God and connection to self.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ You do NOT need your partner to be spiritual to have a deeply fulfilling and spiritual relationship 📣📣📣📣

*if you are a FEMININE spiritual woman and are are seeking out a spiritual man - spiritual men also tend to hold the feminine energy. when you have 2 feminine’s dating each other it’s a key for chaos, flightiness, living in dream world without ever making anything happen, empty promises, BIG dreams but no action, relationship feeling more like a therapy session than anything, long analyzing conversations that never result in anything other than word salads - these types of relationship can feel extremely exciting with strong chemistry, electric feelings - usually great sex - but never really amounts to much - unless you, as a feminine spiritual woman decide to take on the masculine energy. The only sticky part of this is, if you are inherently feminine and take on the masculine role it can lead to major resentment and losing yourself along the way*

💚 He’s….masculine ☻︎

I am not talking about “bro” tendencies.

He doesn’t need to be physically strong (although that’s hot af).

He doesn’t need to hide his tears.

He doesn’t need to be “handy” and know how to fix things (although this is an amazing trait lol).

But he’s consistent ☆☆☆☆

You don’t question his love for you.

He just shows you.

He may not be big with words but his actions make up for it.

He may not surprise you with flowers but he will fill up your gas tank.

He may not cook you a romantic dinner but he’s a great texter and will never leave you on read.

He may not write you love poems but he will make you laugh.

**all of this to say…EVERYTHING is dependent on energy. You have to be emotionally AVAILABLE for a man to show up for you. If you are closed off emotionally you may attract men who ghost you or never commit. We live in an attraction based universe. What frequency are you giving? Are you cold, bitter, un-grateful, and hard to please? Or are you open, internally happy, easy to please, connected to your own desires and playful energy?**

Masculine men are very attracted to women who are connected to their inner child. NOT infantilizing them…I am talking about energy (not looks) ♡⋱✧

When you genuinely embody a playful energy it attracts really amazing mates.

💚 He’s simple.

Of course a man can be intelligent lol, that’s not what I am saying.

But a good man is a simple man ☻︎☻︎☻︎☻︎

You don’t have to second guess what he is thinking.

He always says it how it is.

If he is mad, you know why.

If he is sad, you know why.

He doesn’t use buttery language.

Maybe he’s not as intellectual as you are…

But you never have to question his love for you.

What makes him happy, makes him happy - and that is usually seeing YOU happy.

**That’s why it’s VITAL for a feminine woman to be consistently pouring into her own cup ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙She does things for herself. This is your “job” in a romantic relationship. You will see, as a feminine woman, how everything stems out of your internal happiness. You’re happy, your relationship is happy (๑♡3♡๑) **

💚 He feeds off of your emotions.

Not in a vampiric way lol.

What I mean by this is, the more expressive you are with your emotions AS they come up - the better your relationship becomes.

The more you “white lie” the worse it gets.

What does this mean?

When he asks you, “what is wrong?” and you say, “nothing”, when there is something wrong…you are feeding him lies and he can feel the discord in you and it makes your relationship shitty and lack depth.

If he calls you dramatic then you are doing things right 😹 I 100% mean this. Your man is supposed to believe you are a dramatic. It adds to the attraction.

A feminine woman at core IS dramatic.

A masculine man is attracted to vulnerable women.

being the cool girl always backfires. leads to autoimmune disease and has your relationship not being as sexy or deep as it can be. Cool girls attract mates easily…but being dramatic, filled with fire, and being vulnerable deepens your relationship and makes it sexy and filled with strong attraction (*＾3＾）/～♡

This does not mean you project your shit on him - name call - blame - or criticize him.

But this means you are honest about your emotions at all times.

You learn the art of expression WITHOUT blame and criticism.

and this leads to a hot sex life, booty slaps, and depth in your connection - emotional maturity, spiritually + emotionally deep.

💚 He DOES NOT speak in therapy language

Seriously - always trust how you feel internally when you are around someone. When someone is saying ALL the right things but you are feeling uneasy…your body KNOWS before your mind does.

I find these people really tricky because they are extremely good with words - recipe for manipulation ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

We saw it with John Romaniello

We saw it Aubrey Marcus

We see it with most spiritual fuck bois who live in Austin 🙄 (Don’t get me started on Austin)

Basically a good masculine man doesn’t chase a fever dream. He doesn’t try to be a cool influencer. He just IS! He’s fucking simple and not trying to chase any limelight.

Again I want to highlight - these dynamics can be so sticky n tricky because these people who use therapy language come off SO good at “connecting”. They use all the right words, they seem extremely intelligent, and you get high off of having conversations with them. These dynamics start off with really high chemistry and electric feelings. Getting your brain fed with wise words from a man feels really good.

But ALWAYS TRUST HOW YOU FEEL AROUND SOMEONE.

Even if your mind is saying: yes yes YES

But you are feeling anxiety with them almost all the time.

TRUST THAT.

And, this should go without saying, not ALL intellecutal (or spiritual) men are bad lol. Just always trust how you feel around someone.

💚 There are no “surprises” when it comes to him and his past or personality ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

Whatever he tells you, adds up.

Even if he has a traumatic or dark past and he did some fucked up shit, you aren’t jaw dropped about it because he has been consistent in his energy towards you.

I think when you ARE jaw dropped about something he has done in his past or information you find out about him, this is telling he’s been sorta manipulating his image to you and not being genuine nor authentic.

I am not talking about hearing a really traumatic story that makes you feel for him…

I am talking about a situation you find out about that leaves you very surprised.

Good men may not have a perfect past. They usually don’t. But they are always themselves.

💚 He brings you closer to your family or helps you feel better about your family dynamics ♡♡♡♡

Honestly I think this is one of the best traits a man can have and it’s a MAJOR green flag ♡⋱✧♡⋱✧

I don’t care how toxic your family is. He isn’t controlling this dynamic.

He can put up boundaries.

He can give his opinions.

But he isn’t causing extra drama or turning you against your family even more.

He ALWAYS has your back, but he’s not shit talking your mom.

A good man is a RESPECTFUL man.

He can engage in shit talking with you about your family but he isn’t making you feel worse about your family.

He can put up boundaries for himself but he lets you choose and doesn’t judge you off of these choices.

He can tell you he won’t be attending family events because your dad is a drunk and turns into an asshole. But he isn’t shaming you for going. He wants you to make choices for yourself when it comes to your family.

A good man heals family dynamics. A good man is nuanced.

And at the very least, he makes you feel better about your crazy family.

💚 He does not control NOR COMMENT on your looks.

Of course he can give you compliments.

But he doesn’t say, “what are you wearing?”.

AND THIS 100% should go without saying but he doesn’t slut shame you or call you slutty or demean you for wearing a revealing outfit…

He doesn’t pin point things on your body.

He DOES NOT comment on your weight.

He ONLY says positive things about your looks or he doesn’t say anything at all.

there is a difference in gaining a ton of weight really quickly and him having a conversation with you about your health.

I really do believe good men aren’t constantly complimenting you. And to me, this is pure because they only say what they actually mean and are not trying to control your feelings about them.

Be weary about men who are constantly handing you compliments.

If it feels off, it’s because it is.

If you are getting turned off by him giving you positive compliments then it’s because he’s giving compliments out of a possibly impure place. He’s trying to “seem good” to you and your body is picking that up.

Good men don’t try to “be good” - they just are.

Again point being, trust how your body is feeling when he talks to you. During conversation, when he gives compliments, and so on. Just trust how you feel. If he gives you compliments all the time and it feels so good and lights you up, then it’s genuine.

💚 YOU feel at home with him, you feel comfortable, you feel like you can be yourself (even if he teases you playfully), it feels like an exhale breath with him, it feels like relief.

Having butterflies with your partner is great but on the other hand I do see how it’s easy to confuse anxiousness for butterflies. I do believe when we have those weird butterflies that makes you want to shit, it’s not a great sign.

In my belief, your partner is meant to feel like home.

It’s meant to be a slow burn where attraction slowly grows.

I think we have been so brainwashed by Disney fairytales that we believe our person is meant to invoke an extremely strong passionate fiery type of attraction where butterflies are rampant.

OF COURSE you can feel that fiery passion with your person.

But I think when you chase that, you can miss out on someone who is for you!

Good men are solid men. They are not going to give you that hot and cold feeling. It will not be a push and pull…

It’s not supposed to be, “when its’ good, it’s SO good, but when it’s bad, it’s so bad” - that’s what we want to step away from as enlightened, mature adults who are worthy of solid love.

I’ll say it again for the 50th time.

JUST TRUST HOW YOU FEEL WITH SOMEONE.

You don’t need to read these green flags and red flags lists…

You need to trust yourself and trust you’re always making the right choices.

Look, we ALL make dumb stupid choices from time to time. But don’t you ALWAYS learn from it? Just because you make a dumb choice, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one. I really don’t believe we ever make the wrong choice. Every choice we make brings us more awareness and brings us more things to learn from.

There is a difference in making a stupid fucking choice and then choosing to not gain any insight from it or continue to move on in life blindly.

But I know the people reading this are not doing that anyways lol.

Anyways, that’s all I got for you today (:

In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒💕☁️🪽

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Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ “anxious attachments” in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ creating harmony in your romantic relationship
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a couple sentences on why you are seeking out a session ♥︎

I have a strong belief that we actually can avoid tower moments.

The solution?

To become unwavering in your belief that you create your own reality.

I feel as if a lot of people do understand manifestation but don’t grasp the entirety of it.

They manifest a love.

They manifest money.

They manifest a home move.

But I do feel majority of people don’t understand the concept of 🌀 the upward spiral 🌀 - that you are here to be upward spiraling consistently ~ in ALL areas of your life.

They believe in manifestation when it comes to manifesting a following on social media or manifesting more money but then don’t believe in manifestation when it comes to health or worldly issues.

So many people are “split”. They believe in manifestation but then also believe in conditions.

“I manifested a pay raise!”

But

“I have PCOS because it’s genetic”

To me, I have seen the most success in myself and others when beliefs are strong across the WHOLE board and plethora of life.

When you are split in your beliefs you are split in your life. So you will be upward spiraling in love or money but downward spiraling in your home life or health.

Society has normalized life being hard and I genuinely believe life is meant to feel good to us.

Disclaimer:

Just because you do get sick or a seemingly negative experience happens, doesn’t mean you are off track. A true “upward-spiraler” doesn’t even see experiences as negative. You can simultaneously be in pain AND be optimistic. “Negative” emotions will always be a part of your life. It’s just about what you are making it all mean.

A common theme I see in the spiritual community is that when someone gets sick they say they manifested it because they are un-aligned.

Yes, I do believe we manifest illness but it’s always for our greater 🌀 upward spiral 🌀

What activates the downward spiral when you get sick:

Gosh I MUST be out of purpose…

I must be un-aligned…

God is punishing me.

This is karmic debt…

I am unhealthy…

I now need to apply discipline *proceeds to go on a strict diet or go on some type of detox*

What activates your upward spiral when you get sick:

Ugh this sucks but whatever ~ At least I get to rest for a couple days now.

*Actually seeing it as a way to rest without guilt*

When I get healthy again, it will feel SO good.

*sees it as an excuse to stay in and watch your favorite shows and movies*

*sees it as an excuse to baby yourself and indulge in feel good activities like taking a long bath, eating a yummy soup, or watching a funny movie you haven’t had the time to watch.*

Again, negative things are always going to happen. But the difference in your upward or downward spiral is the ability to not view it as negative and be so fucking unwavering in your knowing to be optimistic because when you can hold optimism it shifts you quicker into your upward spiral 🌀 and you feeling good in all areas of your life.

Sometimes we get sick or go through a negative life experience not because we are un-aligned but because you are calling in something so beautiful for yourself - and being sick will help you appreciate the next new thing you are calling in.

You always cherish your health so much more when you get out of being sick. Or you always cherish your free time that much more after being so busy for weeks. Sometimes “negative” things happen so that we can just really feel good!

What I see being wrong with MomTok and the whole Aubrey Marcus situation:

NONE of these people are claiming their desires so their desires are claiming them and chaos is breaking loose.

Example 1:

If Aubrey had been claiming his desires from the get go - (he’s probably someone who is never meant to be in a traditional romantic relationship) - I think he could have saved all this chaos for himself.

But the thing is, you can’t brush off your desires or again, it will end up in chaos (and your desires will claim you).

I think all of this could have been avoided if he never got married to Vyanna and was clear from the beginning that he wants multiple partners.

And this type of “claiming” takes knowing yourself on a deep level and not lying to yourself or brushing things off or talking yourself into something.

Example 2:

Vyanna should have claimed her desire from the get go of wanting to be in a DEVOTED monogamous relationship.

(And this means saying NO to everything that is not that ^ )

I feel for her but I also don’t.

She could have viewed this situation as Aubrey not being the one for her versus forcing herself, lying to herself, and gaslighting herself into polyamory…

This will manifest into depression, anxiety, or illness.

I would never wish that upon anyone but at the same time, when you are denying yourself of your TRUE desires - it can manifest as dis-ease and yes, chaos.

Example 3:

I don’t think any of the girls on MomTok genuinely like each other. Not sure if I can even pin point any type of true friendship going on. I believe money is blinding them and making them deny their real personal desires.

They are all pretending to be friends to make a bag.

Which is a common theme in our society. Others choosing money over anything else.

The show is obviously chaos and these girls are obviously in pain. I don’t think I see one genuinely happy person on that show. They are all in drama, pain, and chaos.

I do believe it’s from denying themselves.

Believing in a belief system that they probably don’t even align with anymore (Mormonism)

Being “friends” with each other for the sake of getting brand deals.

Having more babies as a bandaid for their toxic romantic relationships…

Anyways, they’re a mess.

And it’s just a clear example of why being aligned with your personal values + desires is a path to actual happiness, health, and success.

These girls may have success, but do they have a thriving romantic relationship? Do they have genuine connected friendships? Are they actually happy on the inside?

True success to me is being happy on ALL fronts of your life.

A story “someone”.

I am keeping them anonymous.

I am not one to define this person’s experience but I wanted to share what I *think* is happening.

I’ll call her Amy.

Recently Amy has been talking about wanting to feel of purpose and to feel a greater meaning out of life. Amy just got out of a long term relationship, she is realizing she hates her work, and does not like where she lives.

When we talked a month ago she told me word for word, “I am not sure what I want out of life, so I am just going to surrender to the Universe”.

Which in theory is a beautiful concept, but I have seen the power of actually getting clear around what you DO want so you are not led into something you’re not sure if it’s even for you OR influenced by anyone else’s desires.

What happened after she said that to me in a 2 week span was that Jesus came to her over a series of 5 events.

Disclaimer:

I actually do believe religion is amazing for a lot of people. It gives you a sense of purpose, it aligns you with faith, it makes you believe in an higher power, and it changes people around for the better (not always but a lot of the time).

I have my own trauma with religion but I am not against it for others.

What I believe happened:

Amy let herself be led. She didn’t really define her desires other than saying she wants to feel of purpose and have a greater meaning out of life. Religion IS that so by being loose with what she wants out of life and then surrendering, she was led into religion.

And look, I am definitely not here to say this IS or NOT the path for her. That is for her to decide and I 100% respect her either way.

Maybe if she really got detailed with her desires she would see how it is leading her into religion.

Or maybe not!!

I am not sure I believe in surrender - like when you purely surrender.

I think you are meant to claim your DETAILED desires AND THEN surrender (but also make choices and take actions that do align with your desires).

When we purely surrender I think we CAN be led by other forces that we may not want to be led by.

And again, following Jesus is not wrong. I think this can be a really enlightening + beautiful path for others.

But I do think if we spend time on a daily basis getting to know our values + our desires - we won’t be shocked by life.

Pleasantly surprised, yes.

But not shocked where it rocks your world.

Example of what I see playing out ALLLLLL the time in the work I do (relationship coaching):

Someone makes their “list”:

I want someone who:

• Does not have children

• Has never been married

• Has a secure job

• Values family/respects his own family

• Attractive to me

• Will be devoted to me and only me

So then dates start happening. Maybe this person (let’s call her Sue) starts to date around and taste the dating pool. Sue matches with potentials on dating apps, she puts herself out there in public, and she is emotionally available.

Then Sue meets an extremely attractive guy - let’s call him Phil. Phil works in finance and is really successful. He values his family and is looking for 1 woman to be devoted to. He is kind and sweet.

But Phil has a daughter.

Sue brushes it off to the side and talks herself into dating Phil. Phil has all the other bullet points on her list so she lets herself settle for the fact he does have a daughter. Although this was a major bullet - Sue wanted someone with NO kids.

Months go by and their relationship is great. Everything is going well.

Then as their relationship deepens and becomes more serious, Phil starts putting his daughter first and always prioritizing his daughter.

Now Sue is angry and feels kicked to the side. She doesn’t want to feel jealous but she is. Sue now sees how Phil’s daughter always coming first and this deeply bothers Sue.

What this leads into is…

Fights all of the time

Resentment

Lack of intimacy

Depression

And will either lead into:

1. a breakup

Or

2. A shitty relationship that lacks all the things Sue wants out of a relationship

When it comes to dating you HAVE GOT to be clear about non-negotiables and what types of negotiables you ARE willing to shift a little.

When it comes to things like:

Kids

Politics

Belief in medicine (western, holistic, etc)

Religion

You should NOT falter nor settle.

Forcing yourself to accept something you actually don’t want to accept will make you sick, will make you depressed, and will make you anxious.

Stop talking yourself into shit. This is 100% scarcity thinking.

Another common theme I ALWAYS see happening in my work:

Sue starts dating Jack.

Jack is nice and kind but he is not exactly a romantic.

Jack spends a lot of time with Sue. Jack always cleans her car, fills up her gas tank, and will help her with her responsibilities like driving her to doctors appointments or paying for her groceries, and so on.

Jack will take her out to dinner but he isn’t one to surprise her with flowers or buy her surprising gifts.

He always shows up for her birthdays and major holidays, writing lovely cards and getting her presents.

But he just isn’t a romantic like we see portrayed in movies.

Sue and Jack have now been together for 2 years.

All the sudden, Sue starts to get upset that Jack is not a romantic.

Sue tells Jack to buy her flowers more, or that she likes romantic types of experiences.

What this leads to:

Jack feels criticized

Sue turns into “his mommy”

This creates son/mommy dynamic

Or this creates a mad Jack - always rebelling or never doing anything Sue wants…

Their sex life dies or becomes awkward

1. You HAVE to accept OR reject someone at face value (you can’t just accept some parts and then reject other parts of your partner. You have got to be ALL in or ALL out).

   1. When you start dating someone, and they are not a romantic, you cannot expect them to shift into that. You need to fully accept them as they are or FULLY REJECT them. Meaning, leave them.

   2. You can actually manifest a more romantic type of relationship but that takes inner work and energetic work from your side of the equation and it means NOT getting mad when they aren’t being a romantic.

2. Of course in a relationship you are meant to grow and evolve. But demanding a person into something is a key for disaster and a shitty sex life.

3. Also jack sounds like a great guy, he DOES show up for Sue in his own ways. He handles majority of her responsibilities and that IS him showing her love.

I think wanting to date a romantic is a hard non-negotiable for some people but shouldn’t be for everyone. I think if your person is good in all the other ways, being a “romantic” isn’t something to care about because you can cultivate romance on your own and you CAN create a romantic relationship via energetic work. You can always create a romantic life for yourself despite who your partner is or if you’re single. Romance is simply a frequency.

But what I see being so common is someone like Sue reads these romance novels or watches romance movies and it distorts her views on her relationship so she starts criticizing her partner and demanding him to treat her differently.

It’s the same shit as Jack watching porn all the time. Jack watching porn frequently distorts his views on sex with Sue and makes it hard for him to “get it up” and may start to criticize Sue in the bedroom etc.

The point being - I don’t see being a romantic a core piece of someone’s inner desires/values UNLESS it is!

Then you need to have that be a non-negotiable when you are dating.

And don’t date someone who is not a romantic.

All of this to end off with:

It is extremely important you are getting to know yourself on a daily basis. And if daily seems impossible then weekly.

You need to be consistently naming + claiming your desires.

You are NOT here to change ANYONE.

When you are entering:

A job

A living situation

A relationship

A friendship

You need to get clear on your intentions and your desires around these topics.

So you can say NO to everything that does not align with your values/desires.

and again,

STOP TALKING YOURSELF INTO THINGS!!!

Journal Work:

💋 What are your NON negotiables when it comes to:

🍒 Love

🍒 Friendships

🍒 Living Situation

🍒 Job

💋 What are negotiables that you are willing to bend a little if that means this something or someone has every other bullet on your list?

💋 Name out 2-3 of your MAIN desires you want to work towards.

I want to have a large following on instagram.

I want to be in a committed relationship with Phil .

I want to live in Los Angeles.

💋 Write out WHY you want these things from a selfish perspective and don’t stop writing until you get to an inner feel good space. If you can’t get to an inner feel good space, then maybe you don’t actually desire that thing you wrote down.

1. I want to have a large following on instagram

Why?

I want to have a large following on instagram because being popular online excites me. I think if I have more followers I will make more money. I want to be seen online. Getting a lot of engagement on my posts excites me. If I have a large following I will seem more established. If I have large following I will get brand deals.

🗝️ Key here:

Which part of this “why” is actually exciting you the most?

Do you actually want a large following or do you just want to be known for your work?

Do you actually want a large following or do you just want to make good money with what you do?

Do you actually want a large following or do you just want to feel like you are a part of a community where you get a lot of engagement on your posts?

If you want a large following, nothing wrong with that! Maybe you do genuinely desire being an influencer who gets brand deals. but get clear on WHY you want a large following. and see if there is something deeper underneath that desires so you can continue to be clear and move through life with greater intention and clarity.

2. I want to be in a committed relationship to with Phil

Why?

I want to feel wildly in love. I want someone to adore me and I love the feeling of feeling loved. I want to date Phil because _______. I want to have more sex. I love being in a relationship.

Which part of this “why” is actually exciting you the most?

Do you really want to date Phil or do you just want to feel in love?

Do you really want to date Phil or do you just want to be adored?

Do you really wan to date Phil or are you just craving connection?

Nothing is wrong with wanting to date Phil. But you need to get clear. is what you are seeking love + connection or do you genuinely desire Phil as your partner?

3. I want to live in Los Angeles

Why?

I want to live in Los Angeles because there are so many opportunities present. All the famous influencers and stars live in Los Angeles. I want to live in Los Angeles because I want to live in the sun all of the time. I feel as if I move to LA then I will get the job and opportunities I want. What I love about LA is ______.

Do you really want to live in LA or do you just want to have more opportunities?

Do you really want to live in LA or do you just want constant sunshine?

Do you really want to live in LA or do you just want to be easily known for your work?

DIG DIG DIG.

Until you dig, you won’t be clear around why you desire what you desires.

and you will be choosing things in life that may not even be for you.

You will activate a continuous upward spiral by always choosing your CLEAR desires.

In love + miracles,

Sammi

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On-demand, no commitment.

Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ “anxious attachments” in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ creating harmony in your romantic relationship
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a few emojis or a short note + say “link please.”

1. A good man does not let you get away with things or lets you act out of integrity.

Simply put, he calls you on your bullshit

BUT will validate you when he feels you are in the right.

An annoying man: makes you think that there is more to be *worked on* for you and you find yourself always trying to constantly heal.

A good man: just calls you out and moves on with his day and wants you to move on with your day. He doesn’t take your cries of insecurity seriously unless he actually feels they are serious. If you can lean into his discernment about you, it brings you into more wholeness.

A good man doesn’t view you as insecure so that’s why he doesn’t feed into your insecure cries.

2. A good man does not judge the way you dress.

If you dress sexy he is happy to show you off. He is not *triggered* by you looking good. You feel comfortable in baggy sweats or a body con dress.

3. A good man lets you go out and have fun and doesn’t get all weird about it.

A lot of insecure men will have you feeling like you are in the wrong for going out. They may weaponize certain language or say things like:

“jeeze you’re basically turning into an alcoholic”

“When will we have some alone time together?”

“Omg you’re wearing THAT!?”

And an insecure man will purposefully not text you back while you are out having fun (or be extremely short).

An insecure man will purposefully not look at your IG stories or open snaps from you when you are out with your girls.

This is all manipulation tactic but it makes you think something is wrong or you did something wrong so you end up saying sorry or apologizing.

Obviously a level of discernment is needed.

If you are going out all the time and getting drunk constantly then there is obviously a problem and the problem is you.

But if you are going out to celebrate or going out for an occasion or just having a fun girls night - nothing is wrong with that.

Bottom line ~ an insecure/annoying man is always somehow guilt tripping you.

4. A good man is not here to appease you.

A good man is of integrity so he isn’t going to be here praising you all the time. The thing is, that is healthy because a good man doesn’t *fake* his emotions. .

A good man is a man who isn’t going to fake compliments or be over the top with you.

OBVIOUSLY you deserve compliments, love, and praise ~ but ~ when it’s over the top, it’s fake.

A healthy and good man gives you compliments where compliments are due. A good man is not over the top, he is just himself.

Insecure people are people pleasers.

An insecure man will over-the-top validate you.

Your feelings are worth validating WHEN your emotion IS valid. You have got to trust that your man can read you and knows when to validate you and knows when to not give in.

And when he doesn’t give in to your insecurities, over time, it makes you believe you are NOT insecure and actually moves you into security.

The more someone feeds your insecurity with validation the more it keeps you feeling insecure.

A good man doesn’t view you as insecure or feeds into your wounding. He validates you when it’s due and doesn’t validate you when you’re crying out for attention.

5. A good man is true to himself.

He doesn’t quit watching football because YOU don’t like football.

He doesn’t meditate with you if he doesn’t want to meditate.

A good man will always be considerate of you but also sticks to his own schedule.

A good man again, considers you when he is making his schedule but he isn’t going to abandon himself for you. And that is a GOOD man!

A good man that is true to himself will also influence you to stay true to yourself.

You know you have a good man when you can stay connected to your own hobbies and passions without him getting in the way of it. He may not understand or even “like” your hobbies but he accepts it!

The thing with anxious women is they tap into control which is very masculine - wounded masculine.

When you mommy your man, that is masculine.

When you mommy your man, that is you trying to control him.

When you try and “teach” your man, like sending him self help books or self help podcasts - that is also you trying to control him.

A secure woman lets her man be, she trusts his growth even if it feels like he is growing slower than her.

A secure woman accepts herself enough to accept her man as is without trying to constantly fix and change him (and a good man doesn’t let you bulldoze him!).

It’s not about tolerating shitty behavior.

It’s about finding enough inner love and acceptance that you CAN be easy going in your relationship without always trying to fix your man or have control over it.

A GOOD man is true to himself and a good man is open to criticism of course but only when it’s due!

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In love + miracles!!!!!!!

Sammi

💒☁️💕🦢

Obviously material on feminine energy is *trending*. I see a lot of information that surrounds things like:

Don’t chase a man.

Allow a man to chase you.

Allow a man to pursue you.

Be clear with boundaries and what you want.

“Act” feminine.

Unfortunately I see women taking this advice TOO literal.

The thing with these above statements is that it’s an energy you EMBODY, not an energy you talk out loud about.

♡✧🍒✧♡

You are naturally so obsessed with your own life that you don’t even fully realize what he is doing. You are not taking notes. You are not seeking out red flags (because you know by seeking out red flags you attract red flags - energetically). You are just busy with your own life and own passions and one day you just notice how consistent he is and how much he makes you a priority and you are naturally drawn to him. When you are consistent with loving your own life - you draw in men who want to be consistent with you.

♡✧🍒✧♡

𖦹⋰💒⋱𖦹

I really believe the best way to approach dating is to stop seeking out teaching information on “how” to date. Again, I just see too many women (and men) taking advice so fucking literal and all it does is dry up your natural essence. The thing is, when you are yourself you attract the people that are meant for you. You attract friends, clients, and lovers that are a part of your soul family. The only “work” you need to be doing is NOT projecting your wounds and clearing that on your own when you are in the beginning stages of dating. It’s easy to disguise a reaction as “this is just my natural self” when it’s actually just your wounding. Obviously your partner can* be here to help you heal and help you through things but if you are just dating someone do not put that on them. If you are feeling insecure over somone you need to figure that out and clean it up yourself. No one listens to actual words, it’s about the energy you exude. Words don’t matter. Energy + Actions do.

𖦹⋰💒⋱𖦹

✩✧☁️♡🫧✧✩

You are not here to “seek out red flags” 🙄 If you are an energetic girlie you KNOW that seeking our red flags will literally bring you red flags because it’s energetic law! The thing is, EVERYONE has infinite ♾️ sides to them. The way you act with your mom is different than how you act with your best friend. The way you act with your coworker is different than how you act with your uncle. Point being, different people bring out different sides to us. WE ALL have red flags - NO ONE is exempt from this. And we all have so many layers and sides to us. When you choose to see the best in others and take note of their good traits you just get more out of that from others.

Think about it this way ~ if you run an online business and always succum to the rhetoric “my audience never engages with me” - your audience can feel that and they don’t engage with you. People who have thriving online business believe in theirself - and that feeling is magnetic and attracts more and more people.

Recently, I unfollowed my favorite online creator because all she posted about was her enegagement being horrible. Meanwhile, I was commenting on all her posts and she never ONCE (in years) engaged back with me. I unfollowed her because she she started to emit a repulsive energy. Someone whom I once loved, I felt icky towards.

Think about this when it comes to dating.

“They don’t like me”

“I don’t even know if they think I am hot”

“I feel like I am too much for them”

When you think these thoughts on repeat they start to actually feel that way towards you. Obviously you don’t need to be a psyhco and be SO careful around ALL the thoughts you think. But it’s that background voice that plays on repeat. People can energetically feel those beliefs that you create about yourself.

Choose to see the best in yourself so you CAN see the best in others. Usually when you are seeking out the red flags and being critical of someone it’s only because you are doing that to yourself. Be EASY with yourself so you can be easy with others! Self criticism will have you going into ruts with people you love. POUR POUR POUR POUR INTO YOUR OWN CUP 🫖 so that you can attract the best type of people!!!!

✩✧☁️♡🫧✧✩

101 ENERGETiC Dating “rules” for feminine hearts:

🍒 be. yourself (!!)

🍒 be easy to please because you GENUINELY are so in tune with the vibration of appreciation

🍒 be wildly obsessed with your own life.

🍒 pour POUR pour POUR pour POUR pour POUR waterfalls ⛲️ into your OWN cup 🫖 ON A DAILY BASIS (!!) - basically romanticize the shit out of your own life.

🍒 seek out green flags in yourself + others 🐸🌱☘️🐛

🍒 stop reading stupid bullshit on spiritual dating pages

🍒 stop trying to be in a “conscious relationship” and stop being a fucking weirdo. basically - don’t turn your relationship into a therapy session 😒

🍒 have fun, feel good, be silly

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** currently not taking any new 1:1 love coaching clients but will be for June! **

In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧☁️🦢💕

Before we get into it - my intention is NEVER to make anyone feel bad in their relationship. I am just trying to root for the spiritual girls who have been programmed to think that dating a “normie man” is bad. Or that if your man isn’t spiritual you can’t have a deep relationship….or that if your man isn’t spiritual he can’t meet you in your depth… ♥︎ I am here to help spiritual women date normie men and feel good about it ♥︎ it’s my current mission 🫡

You know what one of the most healing experiences there can be?

When you are overwhelmed in anxiety and your mind is spiraling and your normie man says, “calm down you’re fine”.

The spiritual community will having you thinking it’s gaslighting to be told that so many spiritual women trigger out over hearing something like this.

But in reality? A normie man is a simple man and his simple nature can heal you in ways you may not have experienced before (while your magical yet intuitive nature inspires him 🧞‍♀️🪄).

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ If you listen to and respect your normie man, when he tells you that you are fine, your body can openly receive that and it makes you…fine! ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

The thing with normie men is that they are really amazing readers of energy. They can pick up your energetic field before you realize what is going on internally. If you were not actually fine they would tell you that you are not actually fine and HELP YOU. That’s the magic of the masculine 🧞‍♂️🪄

When you can trust the words your man tells you, you become a very powerful woman! - 👩‍❤️‍👨 and a power couple 👩‍❤️‍👨

**You have to trust yourself to trust a partner. If you don’t trust your man it’s because you actually don’t trust yourself. The thing is, when you deeply trust yourself you know you never make a wrong choice - and you are choosing him for a reason**

♡𖦹✧ When you feel like you *need* him to validate your feelings and he doesn’t, I would trust that! Not all feelings ARE valid. If he loves you and you guys have a good relationship - TRUST when he doesn’t validate your feelings. It’s for good reason. And when you can lean into this sort of surrendered dance with him (you trusting his word and making it your own) you start to snap out emotional turmoil very quickly and come back together in a harmonic place 💃🕺🏼. The thing is, IF your feelings are worth validating and he fucks up and doesn’t validate them - he will always come around and apologize. All you need to do is trust his word for face value and you will get everything you want out of your relationship. ♡𖦹✧

If you are thinking…: but Sammi, why should I trust his word as my own?

I would ask yourself, why you are even with him if you can’t take his word as your own.

If you want a ♥︎ harmonic ♥︎ secured ♥︎ deep ♥︎ sexy ♥︎ relationship - then you need to fucking trust what he says!

💕༒🪽✧⋰𖦹 Spiritual Women who struggle with anxiety pair EXCELLENT with normie men 💕༒🪽✧⋰𖦹 I don’t make the rules (:

🫧✧⋰🍒✧♡

♡ Spiritual Women with anxiety are just un-expressed artists ♡ and need to be channeling that “anxiety” into art or an actual business ♡ if you can trust his word AND be actively pursuing your art/business then you will have a healthy relationship ♡

And having a normie man by your side grounds you and soothes your nervous system because they don’t over complicate things! WHICH allows you to become a successful as an artist or entrepreneur.

When a normie man is in love with you, he protects you, and that means he is always upfront and honest. A normie man is not passive aggressive. He just tells you how it is. And that type of energy heals anxious women.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ Simplicity wins when it comes to energetics ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ Simplicity wins when it comes to anxiety ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Energetically speaking, the more you “dig” into something the longer that energy lasts.

But when you can just let go of an energy and move on, the energy turns into something else like relief and relief is what gets good momentum flowing (upward spiral 🌀).

✧𓆸⋱💒✧☆⋰♡

I genuinely believe life is meant to be easy and in flow.

🫧☁️ I don’t think God ever intended for you to spend 5+ years “healing”.

🫧☁️ I don’t think God ever intended for you to have a 4 hour morning routine before you can feel “grounded”.

🫧☁️ I don’t think God ever intended for emotions to feel as complex as you make them.

🫧☁️ I don’t think God intended for you to go back and heal all your trauma so you can have a healthy romantic relationship.

You get to be healthy NOW.

You get to have a feel good relationship just as you are.

♥︎ Usually all your issues can be solved by ♥︎

♡ A nap

♡ Playing with your dog

♡ Getting fucked

♡ Taking a walk

♡ Laying in the sun

♡ Eating a bomb meal

♥︎ Usually all your issues will stop being triggered if you ♥︎

♡ Get CLEAR around your desires.

♡ Dig your claws into art.

♡ Are consistently moving your body.

♡ Socialize with the right*** people.

♡ Love the food you eat.

♡ And TRUST the words your man gives you.

If you allow life to be simple, then simple solutions will solve your issues.

♥︎ Dating a normie man ♥︎

♡ Turns your “big issues” into non-issues

♡ Brings you security on all fronts.

Emotionally, financially, and physically.

♡ Keeps you out of therapy 😹

(not trying to shame ANYONE for seeking help but just take this with a grain of salt) - normie men simplify things and keep you mentally healthy!!

♡ keeps your nervous system grounded WHICH enables you to go hard as fuck in your creative passions.

**all of this to say…obviously your partner isn’t going to be 100% good 100% of the time. being in a relationship is also about giving grace and switching feminine/masculine poles when a situation asks for it. If you are in a long term relationship you know that your partner goes through “bad” chapters as you will also go through “bad” chapters. Perfection doesn’t exist. But being in a relationship IS about radical acceptance. When you accept your partner as is, they accept you as is. Even if that means you don’t LIKE all their parts. That’s ok, acceptance is the only thing needed.**

***all of this to say…not ALL spiritual men are “bad” men but I deeply see the benefit of anxious spiritual women dating normie men. I see it in my work, I see it in my friend groups, I have also lived it. If you are dating an amazing spiritual man then this article obviously doesn’t apply to you**

♥︎ If you have any personal relationship questions feel free to comment a question and I will respond as in-depth as I can ♥︎

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♥︎ If you want more in-depth guidance on your relationship I work as a love coach ♥︎

♡✧💒 1:1 Sessions with Me 💒✧♡

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Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ “anxious attachments” in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ creating harmony in your romantic relationship
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a few emojis or a short note + say “link please.”

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In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧🦢☁️💕

And of course, yeah, in hindsight like OBVIOUSLY you don’t want your man being oogly googly eyed over other women.

It DOES create an unsafe feeling and that feeling is awful!

It’s like yeah! DUH! no shit don’t settle for that 😹

Idk why but it pisses me off that people don’t know energetics the way I wish they did *sigh* that is why I write here.

Understand the basics.

Anxiety in love creates an avoidant partner.

Avoiding in love creates an anxious partner.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹 If you are the feminine partner you are the leader of energetics! YOU set the energetic + spiritual landscape + tone of your romantic relationship 🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Your partner does not need to know giggly jack squat when it comes to energy + spirituality to have a deeply spiritual and in flow relationship 💕🪽

If you’re the feminine parter, you do the work in the ethers.

If you are the masculine partner, you do the work in the physical.

But HOW the masculine sets up the safe container is BY the feminine’s energy. Your man will not devote or commit to you the way you want him to if you are floundering in anxiety (because it actually makes him repulsed. I am sorry to say it but it’s the truth). He may love you but it does create discord. That’s why self soothing and finding relief is literally the most magical experience you can achieve for yourself. If you can properly self soothe you will attract a partner who is devoted to you in all of the ways, and not just on paper.

🪽 I help spiritual women date normie men and feel good about it 🪽

because once you know what you know about energy you can literally change energy dynamic you enter 🌀👁️🌀

A man having wandering eyes 👀 in a committed relationship can mean a couple different things and it’s good to discern WHICH it is:

1. It’s simply shitty behavior from a shitty person. Maybe you’re with him because it’s comfortable, maybe he provides in some ways, but overall him being like this is a massive dump on top of a whole other plethora of smelly shit. He clicks a few boxes but he is more “bad” than “good”. And him having wandering eyes pisses you off so much because it just triggers this knowing in you that he probably ain’t it for you.

2. OrrRRR Your man ticks most of the boxes! Like he is 80% really good but it’s this 1 trait that deeply bothers you. But overall he is devoted to you, he shows up for you, he deeply loves you and you love him, etc. You feel like such a good match but he follows IG models or checks out other women. It’s like you know he would never cheat but you know he would look. And it makes you feel unsafe.

If it’s number 1, break up and leave.

If it’s number 2, it can be remedied through energetics.

If it’s number 2:

The first piece:

You’re not expressing enough. You are playing “chill girl” when you ain’t a chill. So you tolerate shitty behavior and it enables…*surprise* shitty behavior! Internally you are so upset but you aren’t expressing it properly. You make it all *his* fault but no offense, it’s also your fault for tolerating!

If you see him like a girls photo or catch his eyes wandering - flip the fuck out girl!! But you don’t flip out through insecurity. You flip out because of DESIRE 🔥

** my dear friend Rev.SydneyFinn (on IG) teaches this in her course: JUICY **

JUICY

Feel the difference in:

omg I can’t believe you liked her photo…am I not beautiful enough for you? do you not love me anymore? am I still attractive to you? What is it about her that you like??? Is that the type of girls you are into?? I look nothing like her!

(this is insecure coded, and you’re blaming him, and this type of talk is just so repulsive to the person who you are telling it to).

versus:

I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING DIE IF I SEE YOU LIKE ANOTHER GIRL’S PHOTO. EVERY-TIME YOUR EYES LANDS ON ANOTHER WOMAN YOU SHAVE OFF 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE. *add in emojis for extra effect* 😭🥺😭🥺🥺🥺

(there is no blame or insecurity present - it’s just heated desire)

The more dramatic - the better.

VULNERABILITY (when done right) is fucking hottttt to your man. He may call you dramatic or emotional but that’s how you know you are doing it right. I can guarantee he will fuck your brains out that day or the next.

Also important to know:

You can’t be bringing up old shit. That will repulse him. It has to be IN THE MOMENT. Also it’s healthy for you to express IN THE MOMENT because it shaves off any future resentment.

And resentment makes you ugly! Seriously!

The second piece:

Stop being a fucking weirdo and creeping on his socials…if this is you…you are BORED.

Seriously, the more you creep the more he will have those oogly googly eyes 👀 and the more it all loops and manifests…you are being a weirdo and he is being sorta shady. It all feeds into each other.

Even if he doesn’t know you are creeping…It’s just energy…People can feel insecurity and people are repulsed by insecurity.

Even if it’s a friend or literally ANYONE.

People really are repulsed by that energy in general.

I know it sucks hearing this but it’s true lol.

The thing is, if your man can FEEL your trust it MAKES him want to show up for you and devote fulllllly to you.

Remember: you are in charge of the energetics if you are the feminine partner. So it’s your duty to self soothe your way into trusting him.

🍒 when you feel anxiety or insecurity rise and you would typically pick up your phone to check out his social media - dig your damn claws into art. you need to break this awful habit. get hot af, dress up, take some sexy photos of yourself…get out your paint and paint…write…literally just use this energy and infuse it into something else. Take a walk! Play with your dog! Move the energy into something elseeeeee

🍒 start manifesting the opposite! hello!!!!!!!

start affirming new beliefs…..

my man ONLY has eyes for me 💅🏻

my man is head over heels devoted to me 💅🏻

i am hot as fuck and literally no one will ever compare to me and he knows that 💅🏻

my man is not turned on by porn anymore and rarely even watches it 💅🏻

my man craves me 💅🏻

We have the best attraction to one another 💅🏻

Stay Creative. Stay Hot. Stay Expressive.

💋 And you will create the relationship of your dreams 💋

The thing with being a spiritual woman is that it can have you restricted, which makes you all pent up, and it places a shit ton of rules on life. It’s like devoting to a religion in a way.

No one wants a Prude Penny (just saying).

Be a Silly Sally…

be a Vicious Veronica….

be a Bold Betty…

Instead of identifying with spirituality try identifying with being an artist and see how that feels!!!!

🦋 But always stay true to your natural personality 🦋

And trust me, being prude is never your *true self* being prude is a sign of anxiety manifesting.

The more YOU feel good, pour into your own cup, and self soothe he will set up those safe containers beyond your wildest dreams…you will have the most sexy type of sex…you will activate more booty slaps…you will catch him checking you out… he will clean and cook…he will book a date night…he will provide…

It’s seriously a WIN WIN and it will ALWAYS be a WIN WIN

So devote yourself to feeling good 💋 and that means ALSO expressing your TRUE emotions IN THE MOMENT they bubble up! because it creates resentment and turns you into an ugly prude penny.

Be Easy Ellie…Ellie is so easy because she expresses the minute something bothers her and is free of any heavy baggage and heavy emotion.

Unlock yourself 🦋

IF there IS a lot of built up resentment you do NOT need to go back and clear it all out. Just practice expressing in the moment NOW and you will naturally release the old baggage.

anddddd commit yourself to your creative energy 🎨

A hot relationship = a woman connected to her vulnerability + art.

JUICY COURSE w Sydney

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In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧☁️💕

♡✧💒 1:1 Sessions with Me 💒✧♡

On-demand, no commitment.

Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ “anxious attachments” in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ creating harmony in your romantic relationship
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a few emojis or a short note + say “link please.”

Your favorite gas-lighting coach that doesn’t create safe spaces!

Welcome!

YOU’RE NOT INSECURE. YOU’RE BORED.

YOU’RE NOT JEALOUS. YOU JUST HAVE UN-CLAIMED DESIRES.

Obviously negative emotions exist. But I believe they ONLY exist to give us data. And then we can use this data purely for our benefit 📈 = 🥳

I don’t believe in the definitions around insecurity and jealousy.

The definitions surrounding insecurity and jealousy are not accurate.

You are made to believe that if you feel insecure or jealous you have more work to do.

You hear things like, “you better fix that!”

You see a lot of dialogue online talking shit on jealousy, like jealousy is this big shame-y emotion that you should definitely feel guilty for having and “fix it”.

Insecure people are not this project to be fixed.

Insecure people are just plugged into the wrong radio station.

I like to think of our mind as a radio station.

Our mind has all of these different sections (stations).

And YOU have the power to turn on any radio station you want.

📡 Radio Stations 📡

Worry + Insecurity station

Jealousy station

Anger station

Hopeful station

Contentment station

Curious station

Bliss station

(you get it)

📡 and the knob to change the radio station is ♥︎𖦹RELIEF𖦹♥︎ 📡

YOU have the power + ability to find relief in ANY radio station and it will change the station.

Relief = your dial to change in-between stations.

Relief is your magic wand to activate miracles 🪄✨

Because once you can hold momentum around feeling relief then radio stations of hope, curiosity, eagerness, and bliss play all day.

When you feel insecure, you just haven’t used it as data yet. The only reason insecurity lasts so long is because you are not using it to your benefit. You are not using it to get clear around what you want to do in your day to days.

Boredom = Insecurity

I can guarantee you, someone who is engaged with their desires and doing things that feel good on a day to day basis do not feel insecure.

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And the only reason you are jealous is because you have desires waiting to be claimed by you.

I actually love jealousy because it’s the most alchemical emotion in my opinion (if you use it correctly)

If you are in a romantic relationship it brings up the heat! 🔥

and if you are jealous outside of your romantic relationship it is a magical alchemical experience 🧙🪄

Regardless,

♥︎✷jealousy is just desire that you have not named or claimed yet✷♥︎

Have you ever had a feeling of jealousy that you turned into desire and the jealous went away?

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When you stop making a big deal over your negative emotions you take back your power.

Sometimes it’s actually ok to gaslight yourself.

You actually do have the power to be all love n light.

˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙ And this is NOT to say because you have negative emotions that you are not as healed or you are getting it wrong or whatever ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙ I am literally trying to tell you the opposite. Negative emotions are just fucking data!!!!! Do NOT allow them to define your beautiful beingnesssss ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

I am seriously SooOOooOO over the rhetoric talking shit on people who ARE love and light saying they are bypassing or it’s fake.

Yeah we are bypassing 🥲 we are living in our delusions and we are happier for it!

♡♡♡♡ !! the FEAR of being SEEN AS bypassy is blocking you from your inner happiness !! ♡♡♡♡

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If you wanna buy me a coffee (:

In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧🩷🪽

♡✧💒 1:1 Sessions with Me 💒✧♡

On-demand, no commitment.

Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ “anxious attachments” in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ creating harmony in love
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a few emojis or a short note + say “link please.”

Bro. Dude. Man.

Stopppppppp.

Yes I am talking to you my personal development, healing, spiritual queen.

STOP needing your man to go deep with you.

STOP trying to get your man to communicate with you in a certain way.

!! STOP USING THERAPY SPEAK !!

And maybe….just maybe…stop going to therapy?

*GASP*

I know I know…

I have a different take to life and what “healing” is.

Maybe I am not different, I think I just say some things that ARE resonant with so many but are afraid to say it ???? lol.

No one talks about how ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT can EVOLVE and GROW into other sections of your life if you don’t nip it in the fucking butt.

Anxiety does not just creep up in a relationship.

It literally spills into your “healing path” 😒

Anxiety makes you think you need to keep healing to fix yourself…Anxiety literally makes you believe that you are so broken so you MUST need more work on yourself.

And I can guarantee it’s the anxious women who are demanding depth with their man and the anxious women who feel they are needing their man to meet them in their “needs”.

and as a result - no depth happens and you leave feeling even more depleted and out of wack with your partner….

You are literally anxious because you are bored and that is IT.

Nothing is fucking wrong with you.

You don’t have some mysterious “attachment” issue 😒

YOU’RE BORED YOU’RE BORED YOU’RE BORED

and it’s SO vital you do not project this boredom on your partner or it will manifest into awkward/off sex, looping bickering, and just overall not feeling sexy with your man.

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If you are not having fun you aren’t actually healing…

God the amount of posts I see online…healing is a messy and ugly path…like JESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS NO IT’S NOT (yes ok fine sometimes it is). But you’re making it ugly when it doesn’t need to be… You don’t need to make anything ugly.

You know when you see someone online and they only post pretty and happy content, and you think to yourself, “ok they’re fake, there is no way they are THAT happy…they are just showing us the curated version of their life”

Maybe you are right but also…maybe you are utterly wrong.

There are actually people in the world who are wildly obsessed with their life. They are obsessed in love, they are obsessed in their work, they are obsessed in their looks, and some people actually do not have anything going wrong!

When you diminish someone’s happiness into “they’re not actually happy…it’s fake” or “she’s just that way because she has her daddy’s money”…

First off, you don’t actually know. And when you make up an excuse for someone else’s success or happiness you push further away from your own! When you make an excuse for someone else’s success it makes it harder for you to believe in your own. Sometimes these thoughts are sneaky and you don’t even realize you are thinking them but now it the time to catch them and allow yourself to believe that you can have a happy and fulfilled life in ALL areas of your life.

The reason why the healing stage seems to last forever for SO many because

1. So many people who are healing ARE anxious so their anxiety makes them believe they are broken and need to keep healing 🔁

2. All these people focused on doing plant medicine and not enough people focused on what their actual real life desires are…

3. This obsession with therapy. Sure cancel me!

IT’S LITERALLY ENERGETIC LAW - the more you talk about something the more it lingers on!

4. This obsession with purity. You’re never doing “enough” so now you are in this constant loop of trying to clear all your mess and chaos. You run into chaos so you cleanse 🔁 you run into chaos so you cleanse 🔁 you run into chaos so you cleanse 🔁 x ♾️

5. Wanting to be cool!!!!! YEAH ! therapy and having a diagnosis is TRENDING! You can’t even take offense to that. It IS trending. Going to Bali and posting pics of your morning doing yoga, getting an açaí bowl, and preparing for a plant medicine ceremony later IS TRENDY.

SoMaTiCs, BreAthWOrk, TAnTra, saying “YUM!” it’s all trending.

I don’t even think it’s “mental health awareness” anymore. I think people just want to feel relevant and have an unhealed inner child begging to be accepted for being different.

Don’t let them trick you into thinking that if you think period blood is gross and don’t want to wear it on your face that you are conditioned by the patriarchy.

Don’t let them trick you into thinking that if you’re not into the tantrika seductress vibe that you aren’t embodied in your feminine.

Don’t let them trick you into thinking that if you aren’t wildly obsessed with nature and being crunchy that you are somehow disconnected from God.

Don’t let them trick you into thinking if your man doesn’t go to a “sacred men’s circle” screaming and crying with other men that he isn’t in his healed masculine.

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I am here for the gritty girls. The girls who are SO OVER the spiritual aesthetic and haven’t really found their people yet. Trust me, they are out there and we are starting to be a bit more loud. I have a feeling you will see a lot more of us pop up over the next couple years.

I have found myself in too many spaces where I looked around and felt so weirdly normal…because now normal is “bad” I felt deep shame for that? (And look, I am not normal but I can be seen as a normie in these crowds).

I used to feel shame that my fiance (boyfriend at the time) wasn’t into spirituality like I was. I felt like I was brainwashed into thinking he needed to be more spiritually deep or that I needed to force these deep intellectual + emotional conversations when all that led to was dis-harmony with one another…

I WISH I had someone to look up to, I wanted so bad for someone to tell me that my normal boyfriend was actually way more embodied than these spiritual fucc bois.

But come to find out I needed to learn this on my own so I can lead women in the same way I wanted to be led! I wouldn’t be here if I had someone telling me that everything was OK and that we are whole and healthy as is. I had to lean into my own trust and trust WHAT FELT GOOD and learn how to shed my anxious emotions. I figured out I wasn’t anxious after all, I was just purposeless trying to force a deep relationship…not realizing that depth is a natural byproduct of going deep with my art…I stopped forcing depth and depth rose to the surface.

Once I realized that the “depth” of my relationship was dependent on me, the feminine partner…everything shifted for me (and us as a couple). I honed into what I knew to be true about the laws of the Universe and have been actively channeling any feelings of anxiety or jealousy into: art, raw messy expression, and clarity around my desires.

I genuinely believe life is for feeling good. But feeling good means aligning with your inner desires. and if you don’t know what you even desire then it manifest into anxiety and jealousy.

Trust me, it’s a flex to have a man who is a “normie” man.

When you can embody depth on your own and channel it into going deep with your girlfriends and channel your depth into your art your relationship naturally becomes more deep.

When you can see your anxiety as boredom and stop projecting your boredom on to your partner you start to have hot sex.

When you can see that your jealousy is simply un-claimed desire it moves you into new chapters (in love AND life).

In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧🪽🩷

♡💒✧ This post will be publicly available for 14 days, then will move to the Creative Love archive for paid subscribers. ✧💒♡

Disclaimer 🙄

I have to add some disclaimers before we start into it. I am speaking to the people who don’t get offended by me using gendered language and feeding into traditional feminine and masculine roles. I feel I have grasped and understood these concepts in a new and embodied way and feel excited to share it all with you. I am practicing purely speaking to people who “get it” and ignoring the rest but I am not out of my phase of feeling like I need to add disclaimers on my posts.

So stick around if traditional gender roles don’t offend you. BUUUUT this is my own twist on it all… (and no…I am not becoming a trad wife….lol - also, nothing against trad wives??? If they love it, then who cares).

And just because you are a “woman” doesn’t mean you hold the feminine energy - and just because you are a “man” doesn’t mean you hold the masculine energy.

BUT BUT BUT

It is extremely important to know WHAT you hold. (leave gender + sexuality out of it.)

AND you do also switch roles during certain chapters of your life but you do have a *core* energy. It’s good to know what you are and when to switch because life experiences will cause you to switch and doing so will create success in your romantic life 💍

I work as a love coach 💒🍒 it’s my day job (: AND dream job! (writer is my second dream job hehe).

I have been coaching for over a decade but in February of 2024 I niched down into relationship coaching (after I wrote Creative Love!!) I wanted to put what I preach into real life and start helping women the way I know I can.

I love this work.

No, I am obsessed with this work.

I believe I genuinely help women shed their anxiety and enjoy romantic love + dating.

I also believe I genuinely help women heal their self worth, insecurities, and jealous tendencies but the thing with me is I make healing fun 🎠 I am not here to “help you heal your trauma” I just help women tap into their upward spirals 🌀 in their love life and life in general.

From March 2024 - April 2025 I have completed over 1.1k sessions alone and almost 600 hours of pure session time 🤩

And hit my 1,000th session last month!!!!!! 🥳

I have created a clientele where I talk with a lot of the same women on an every other day basis or weekly basis (:

This role has been incredible.

And I guide women with the teachings I know to be true about energetics + love.

The thing is, I don’t use overly spiritual language. I dumb it down and make it simple and fun.

and my intention with Creative Love 💒 is to share a lot of client success stories and give you real data as well as teachings.

My fear when it came to getting into energetics and fully applying this work was:

👹 is it safe?

👹 am I ignoring red flags?

👹 Will this work damage me more????

👹 but isn’t bypassing reality not good??

And as I have previously shared in older articles, I FULLY committed myself to energetic work ALONE in 2022.

So what I committed myself to was:

• NO personal development anything

• no astrology

• no human design

• no hiring coaches or learning how to “market” or do any type of logical business stuff.

• no setting goals

• no applying discipline (other than mind discipline when it came to internal dialogue).

And what I did instead was:

• listen to Abraham Hicks on YouTube (because AH is clean and non-contradictory)

• script around my desires

• day dream about my desires

• channel any negative emotions into digital art and selfie photoshoots

• ALLOW myself to have fun (allow myself to have drinks with friends for example. I used to be my own personal drill sergeant so allowing myself to do things I used to think was “bad” was a huge step forward for me.)

• and read books ONLY on energetics - there is an article inside Miracle Zone where I recommended my top 5 Miracle Coded books.

  5 Miracle Coded Books

  (It is a paid article but you can claim 1 free post! Also all my posts are free and then a paywall goes up after 2 weeks)

˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

Energetics. Art. Fun. THAT’S IT.

So I did this for 2 full years on my own life before bringing it to my clients.

(and I am still doing it)

Because the results have been fucking insane in the best way. And I finally feel extremely confident to talk about it like I want (hence why I even began Miracle Zone ⛲️)

I’ve collected enough data on my personal life AND client success evidence 👾🪽👾🪽

Client Success Story

One of the most meaningful transformations I witnessed last year came from a couple I worked with individually. The husband had been struggling with emotional infidelity. He would turn to online sexual content. They felt at a breaking point BUT wanted their marriage to work. (If the wife wanted to leave it would have obviously been a different story, but they both wanted to figure this out).

Through our sessions, it became clear that his inner core energy was feminine, while his wife embodied the masculine. Once we honored that dynamic and made a few subtle shifts…like having her initiate intimacy only when she genuinely wanted to….everything started to change.

He no longer felt the urge to seek external stimulation or attention. He actually chose to give up his smartphone and laptop to deepen his commitment. Months later, he reached out just to say… that the work is still working! And that they have been able to come together in deeper love!!!! (After YEARS and YEARS of emotional infidelity).

Healing doesn’t always come from more effort or complexity (I actually don’t ever believe healing needs to come from effort).

It comes from being truly seen + energetically understood.

All of this to say…

You can heal the most seemingly complex issues in extremely simple ways.

Simple doesn’t always equate to easy but the teachings ARE simple.

It does NOT mater what your gender or sexuality you identify with when it comes to inner energetics.

We all have these energies within us.

During these current online days we see so much information on:

How to manifest with your feminine energy

How to be the black cat

How to magnetize him to you

How to be sweet like honey

But at the end of the day we all have different personalities, different desires, and different life experiences that make us individual and unique.

I believe aligning with your NATURAL inner energy (whatever your NATURAL personality is and knowing what your natural DESIRES are….) is the key to magnetism. I will talk about that another day.

But I do believe the feminine partner is here to set up the energetic and spiritual tone of a romantic relationship.

I am not talking about deep massages, breath work, staring into each other’s eyes doing tantric work together, and “conscious coupling” 🤢 sorry I just hate that terminology lol.

I am talking about your flow + harmony as a couple. It is up to the person who is feminine who naturally leads the relationship energetically. The masculine leads in the physical (and the way the masculine leads is ALL according to how the feminine is leading energetically).

The masculine feeds off the feminine.

You’re happy, he’s happy.

Honestly that saying “happy wife, happy life” has a lot of truth to it lol.

The feminine’s job is staying so focused on your core desires, delusions, and fantasies that you do not get knocked down by his logical or strategic nature.

When both of these energies can intertwine ♾️ it is SUCCESS.

When the feminine gets pulled down by the masculine, there is no success.

and when the masculine gets pulled UP into the clouds, there is also no success.

Peter Pans 🧚🏻

If you are naturally in tune with your feminine energy and your man is still being in his wounded feminine, you have a Peter Pan (ok ok ok not ALL cases - I WILL talk about this more). When you naturally embody your feminine it typically makes your man embody his masculine (unless he is genuinely going through something hard in life that is causing him to be frantic. A valid response). Peter Pans are not valid in their emotions (typically) They tend stay in wounded feminine even if you are doing everything in your power to be in your healthy energy. Peter Pan’s swoop you off your feet and usually the connection is swift and fast. They promise you the world! They commit to you FAST! And then all the sudden they start asking you for money…all the sudden you find that they have moved themselves into your home…all the sudden you find yourself funding his life and you have no clue how it even happened or how you even got there. Usually a mommy’s boy but not always. Peter Pan’s are typically drawn to career + goal oriented women. The thing with Peter Pans is you can’t energetically shift them…they feed off of big mama energy (you mothering him).

It’s either you have to accept the fact your life will always be about mothering him and funding him OR you move on.

When you are with the person you are meant to be with, energetics always apply. i mean energetics apply ALL of the time.

But like…yes you CAN energetically change an abusive relationship but that does not mean to stay, EVER!!!!!! Same with Peter Pans. You can “make the best” out of it but it doesn’t mean it’s good or healthy for you. You will not be at your full potential if you stay UNLESS you LOVE being a sugar mama. some women do and that’s ok!

Have you ever dealt with a Peter Pan!? 🧚🏻 I would love to hear your story!

Leave a comment

The feminine partner’s job in a relationship:

🩷 Consistently connect to your inner desires

on a daily basis. Write lists, feel into the emotions of your desires, connect to your vision board, just create a daily relationship between you + your desires.

🩷 Have a consistent relationship to your creativity + artistic expression.

Channel your depth into your art (and trust me, it WILL create depth in your relationship). But the moment you stop “needing your man to go deep with you” is the moment he will go deep with you.

🩷 Cherish the masculine’s IDEAS and opinions.

I know this sounds old school or patriarchal.

and yes yes yes you get to get cherished for your ideas too….

But if you want him to cherish your emotions you have to also cherish him for his mind.

The book, Getting to I do by Dr. Pat Allen really spells out this information.

I am telling you right now, when I applied what was in this book my sex life took a turn for the…BEST! Ugh I sound so cheesy.

Not that sweet love making sorta stuff (which is incredible) but like…getting mauled by a bull 🐂 typa stuff 😹 the feeling of being craved is what I am trying to describe.

Sweetness turned down and HEAT turned up. Get me? Ha

🩷 Be easy to please!

BECAUSE ENERGETIC LAW, DUH!

No, not settling. That isn’t what I am talking about.

but it’s that feeling of feeling GENUINE appreciation when your man does something for you. Because guess what? Feeling that appreciation brings in more like experiences (law of attraction) annnnnd it pumps your guy up to keep wanting to do those things for you.

You feel good, he feels good, walllllla! 🪄

🩷 BE YOUR FUCKING SELF

Stop trying to be a black cat if you ain’t a black cat. stop trying to be sexy and don’t like….do things you normally wouldn’t do?

YOU are sexy when you embody your genuine self. If you are naturally goofy, allow yourself to be goofy and that WILL be sexy to the person who is meant for you.

🩷 Feel Good.

That is genuinely your purpose - if I had to single down all the “rules” into 1 it would be to do everything in your power to ride the momentum of feeling good and to intentionally create your upward spiral in all areas of your life.

Book your spa day, go out with your girlfriends, watch your shows, read your books, eat the foods you wanna eat, do the things you wanna do!

You do things for you, FIRST and thennnnn if your cup is overflowing and you naturally feel inspired to do things for your man, then you do. But you do NOT give out of an empty cup. This is what creates resentment and this is what leads to most breakups.

When you are consistent in the energy of pouring into your own cup you attract men who do want to provide. Men loooooove women who naturally feel good without needing their man to feel good. It makes men want to add into your cup because your cup is already overflowing and it brings men genuine excitement to add into it.

(And again, it’s just energetic law - law of attraction.) You give to yourself, and you attract like experiences who also want to give.

All in all the feminine’s role is to feel good + have fun. How NICE right!? 😹💕 Who wouldn’t want that? (Masculine Hearts). So again, Creative Love 💒 IS for feminine hearts! I am committed to helping women feel so fucking good in their love life (or dating life). Because I am obsessed with talking about this. The work + teachings WORK 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Expect a TON more from me under Creative Love tab inside: Miracle Zone.

I am treating Creative Love like an online course. It will be mainly teachings + guidance FOR FREE! (Well, all posts have a paywall that goes up after 2 weeks). And if you wanted to donate $5 month for my work I obviously would feel deep appreciation 🩷

Subscribe now

That’s all for now (:

In love + miracles,

Sammi

💒🫧🩷🪽

♡✧💒 1:1 Sessions with Me 💒✧♡

On-demand, no commitment.

Phone or text sessions starting at 15 minutes. $2.50/min.

Whether you want one deep session or an ongoing daily pocket guidance bestie.

My specialties:
♥︎ anxious attachments in love
♥︎ relaxing into feminine energy (and what it even means)
♥︎ polarity in relationships
♥︎ law of attraction + universal law guidance

💒To book: email me at sammi.brice.artist@gmail.com with a few emojis or a short note + say “link please.”